How Gandalf Defeated ISIS In The Battle For Middle Earth!

Know everything there is to know about ISIS in ten short minutes.

Ever since the beginning of time darkness has conflicted with the light.

Via Deathensemble.com & Laughingplanetcafe.com

Wars were fought to keep the darkness from spreading.

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But the light could never quite seem to blot it out.

After many years of fighting peace was finally established throughout society.

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It was all thanks to a powerful wizard who represented the very physical manifestation of nature's force for good! The great equalizer! But evil still existed in small increments of social inequality.

So one day the darkness decided to gather ranks in a full scale attack against the very liberties of cultural freedom and judicial democracy the light held dear! They called themselves the Al-Qaeda!

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And so because boredom kills! Lord of The Rings 4: (Thunderclaps!) The Battle For Middle Earth!

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And Mel Gibson would be directing....hahaha, okay I'll stop.. That was just a joke! That was a joke. Haha. Mel Gibson would be forbidden from directing this movie okay? Hate Mel Gibson! Stupid Gibson. He cool though.

But the first group wasn't very smart so they flew a plane into the world trade towers effectively killing themselves.

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Or so they were FRAMED for doing dun, dun dunnn.

Some of the survivors decided to undertake the name ISIS. It was a powerful acronym that few people dared question!

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ISIS started taking advantage of anyone they could to get what they desired! Domination!

A powerful uni-brow was assembled!

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You thought that Anthony Davis would not be appearing in this feed.

....Sooo ISIS became a Sunni military group that decided to establish an Islamic Caliphate and expand across the Middle Earth.

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They ousted the Iraqi military in key cities fueling off the weaponry and spoils that they collected. ISIS split with the remainders of Al-Qaeda because that's right folks, these motherf*ckers were too violent for even Al-Qaeda! So ISIS became known for cutting the heads off christian men, women and children. After children in the Iraqi war were killed Isis decided to cut the heads off MORE innocent men, women and children in an attempt to stop the head cutting of men women and children once and for all.

Countless people were beheaded in the name of anti-beheading.

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What did you think this was all about!?

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This was their nine to five. In all seriousness, this was the day to day basis of ISIS! The United States did things like this, but really all of it needed to stop!

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This is how ISIS was living! They didn't brush their teeth and have jobs! These weren't the kind of guys you could bae! They didn't want to spread peace after experiencing the execrable atrocities of homicidal invasion to their own countries! They didn't want to uphold the Sharia laws they were trying so hard to establish! They even sought retribution on their own people and they still could not believe it wasn't butter!

Via Bbc.co.uk

So one day things reached a boiling point. Gandalf the legendary force of nature saw what they were doing to innocent men women and children.

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Gandalf went to type in Isis Love and...

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So just when the world started to lose hope the one man who could finally challenge darkness made an appearance after 3,000 years! Everyone thought he was dead!

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Gandalf the legendary appeared!

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Gandalf was like: "ISIS I heard you waging war against innocent children! This staff can go right up...

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So Gandalf arranged to meet the army of ISIS in the Netherlands for the battle for middle Earth. There would be no smart weapons of simulated technology! They were going to do this thing like men.

When ISIS showed up Gandalf had no idea what he was in for!

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He never expected to see an organized group so powerful!

The sheer mass of the forces were unbelievable!

Gandalf asked a messenger, "what do you want!" The messenger replied, "one ring to rule them all! The precious," and hopped away on all fours.

ISIS had tall, beautiful, sexy beasts erherm monsters ready to pounce at a moment's notice!

I mean these things did not give a damn about freedom!

But Gandalf had friends in higher places than ISIS could ever imagine!

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He even had friends in other dimensions! Let's just be clear. When the cavalry arrived for Gandalf the game shut down!

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Hey are you guys even....

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No seriously what the hell is going on!?

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Via Churchofholloween.com

Wow...

That's about the time ALL................HELL.................BROKE......LOOSE.

Via Avengersalliance.wikia.com , http://lotr.wikia.com, mortalkombat.wikia.com

Gandalf informed the Sunni supporters of ISIS that ISIS could give a flying feces about their personal views. They had imposed their views of Islam onto Muslims already and as soon as they felt strong enough they would do it again.

Via lotr.wikia.com

"That's what these sum-bitches do, Gandalf said." Impose their views on other people! Did you think that just because they were pretending to tax the Christians that was going to change!?" The Sunni supporters of ISIS slowly began to part for Gandalf. They were going to be no better than they were under the Shia governments of Iraq and Syria. Maybe even worse for dissenting with ISIS idealism.

Then Gandalf found the leader of ISIS and cut his head clean off! "Foreee!"

Via Lotr.wikia.com

"And that's why they call me Gandalfgolf," he said.

Everyone lived Happily Ever After.

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That's when they stopped making so many unnecessary sequels to "Lord of The Rings." Then everyone REALLY lived happily ever after.