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How Gandalf Defeated ISIS In The Battle For Middle Earth!

Know everything there is to know about ISIS in ten short minutes.

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After many years of fighting peace was finally established throughout society.


It was all thanks to a powerful wizard who represented the very physical manifestation of nature's force for good! The great equalizer! But evil still existed in small increments of social inequality.

And so because boredom kills! Lord of The Rings 4: (Thunderclaps!) The Battle For Middle Earth!


And Mel Gibson would be directing....hahaha, okay I'll stop.. That was just a joke! That was a joke. Haha. Mel Gibson would be forbidden from directing this movie okay? Hate Mel Gibson! Stupid Gibson. He cool though.

....Sooo ISIS became a Sunni military group that decided to establish an Islamic Caliphate and expand across the Middle Earth.


They ousted the Iraqi military in key cities fueling off the weaponry and spoils that they collected. ISIS split with the remainders of Al-Qaeda because that's right folks, these motherf*ckers were too violent for even Al-Qaeda! So ISIS became known for cutting the heads off christian men, women and children. After children in the Iraqi war were killed Isis decided to cut the heads off MORE innocent men, women and children in an attempt to stop the head cutting of men women and children once and for all.

This was their nine to five. In all seriousness, this was the day to day basis of ISIS! The United States did things like this, but really all of it needed to stop!


This is how ISIS was living! They didn't brush their teeth and have jobs! These weren't the kind of guys you could bae! They didn't want to spread peace after experiencing the execrable atrocities of homicidal invasion to their own countries! They didn't want to uphold the Sharia laws they were trying so hard to establish! They even sought retribution on their own people and they still could not believe it wasn't butter!

Gandalf was like: "ISIS I heard you waging war against innocent children! This staff can go right up...


So Gandalf arranged to meet the army of ISIS in the Netherlands for the battle for middle Earth. There would be no smart weapons of simulated technology! They were going to do this thing like men.

Gandalf informed the Sunni supporters of ISIS that ISIS could give a flying feces about their personal views. They had imposed their views of Islam onto Muslims already and as soon as they felt strong enough they would do it again.


"That's what these sum-bitches do, Gandalf said." Impose their views on other people! Did you think that just because they were pretending to tax the Christians that was going to change!?" The Sunni supporters of ISIS slowly began to part for Gandalf. They were going to be no better than they were under the Shia governments of Iraq and Syria. Maybe even worse for dissenting with ISIS idealism.

That's when they stopped making so many unnecessary sequels to "Lord of The Rings." Then everyone REALLY lived happily ever after.

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