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Welcome To The Internet

Discoveries, Broswipes, and Poop Emojis.

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It's been a while! I'm glad you stopped by. What a couple of weeks it's been on the internet. I don't want to give it away, but 36 seconds into this article you'll cry. 1:01 you'll lose faith in humanity and at 1:25... oh man... just go ahead and read it!

A Week Of Discoveries

Archeologists (Indiana Jones) just discovered a secret Nazi lair (definitely Indiana Jones) in the Argentinian jungle (are you serious?). While you're in jungles, or really anywhere, don't ever disrupt a tortoise having sex. They're relentless, you'll learn.

A while back the internet discovered that tweets were funnier without punctuation. No one said it, everyone knew it, and that was that. Well, it's been said now.

lmao now its not funny

We discovered the world of Venmo aka the world of midnight poop emojis. We discovered the Ili Paka and it's oppressive cuteness. And we discovered our collective fantasy.

Renaissance man, Timothy Faust, discovered what happens when you play "The Boys Are Back In Town" on a bar jukebox until you get kicked out. New weekend plan- discover how many times I can sing "Back in Black" during Karaoke before they throw the microphone at my face.

There was a bunch of bro fun happening on Tinder. There's about to be a lot mo fun at the Nugget Spot in NYC. I tried the bacon nuggets with maple syrup. They were good, they were real good.

Can We Just Talk About Something?

After all these years of wondering, we've finally discovered how The Daily Show is able to make those amazing montages, references and overall *magic*. In similar news, after all these years of wondering, we've discovered what happened at the end of Cast Away!

While we're talking about discoveries... how about some simulated worlds to play with? Are we in a simulated world? I mean, once we make one simulated world, we could probably make hundreds... thousands... millions... what are the odds that this is the one original? Haha just kidding. That would be crazy, right? Right?


A powerful article about depression within the African-American community.
Kelsey Borch / Via

A powerful article about depression within the African-American community.

"I" News

- I ate here last Friday (it was amazing).

- I'm actually am singing karaoke this weekend. Planning on some Blink 182, Sum 41 and any other band with a verb-number combo.

- The L train has become my greatest foe recently.

- I wish I had a corgi.

- I saw this band last night.

That's all the links. Isn't that enough?

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