15 Reasons Why You Should Never — Under Any Circumstance — Date A Dog Owner
The relationship will be a ruff one!
1. The dog park is the least romantic place imaginable.
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Who wants to be surrounded by dozens of adorable, cuddly pups? They're clearly just there to distract you from your date with their adorable eyes pleading for you to pet them.
2. Their entire Instagram is literally just photos of them and their dog looking *too fucking cute* together.
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How many times can one person post the same swoon-worthy photo of their dog happily curled up with them on the couch?
3. And they'll make you scroll through EACH. AND. EVERY. ONE.
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The adorableness might honestly give you a headache.
4. Dog owners aren't easygoing enough.
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Not sweating the little things is the exact opposite of what a down-to-earth person would do.
5. They're known for being reckless and irresponsible.
Someone who remembers to buy dog food, keeps their pet clean, and schedules vet appointments regularly can only be described as such.
6. They're also not likely to be very forgiving.
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Constantly cleaning up messes has conditioned dog parents to hold grudges.
7. They're totally selfish and will always put their needs above yours.
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Caring for another creature has only ever taught them to think about themselves.
8. They're also the WORST at cuddling.
You'd think that having practice curling up with their dog every night would make them world-class cuddlers.
9. And you'll DEFINITELY be forced to snuggle with their pooch on the couch.
Be warned: Their dog will hop up and press their soft, fluffy heads into you. They literally will not let you leave because they'll wrap your legs in a furry hug.
10. And I hope you don't mind having a dog in your bed!!!
I could name 37 things that are WAY better than waking up to a warm, fluffy companion begging for a good morning hug.
11. And they think it's *so freaking adorable* when their giant beast gives you big 'ol, slobbery kisses.
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Nothing says, "I love you" like a wet tongue on your cheek.
12. They're suuuper stingy with their money.
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Only cheapos buy vegan leather dog beds so their pup can sleep like royalty.
13. Your date's dog is 100% guaranteed to viciously attack your kid.
Dogs are just SO violent and can't be taught to behave AT ALL.
14. You'll get *so tired* of going on walks with them and their dog.
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Clearly, they're trying to kill you with all this exercise.
15. And — worst of all — they'll teach you how to enjoy the little things in life.
This is Faye. She wanted to bring a little sunshine into your life. Heard it can help with the happiness. 14/10 thank you so much Faye
Because the hallmark of ANY terrible relationship is appreciating the tiny gestures.