We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. This un-welcoming doormat that just gets right to the point so no one will try to enter their dwelling with presents and holiday treats — just leave 'em at the front door, thanks.
2. A pair of socks that perfectly describes their mood pretty much 100% of the time.
3. Orrr this mug with a small message for anyone who tries to talk to them before they've had their morning coffee.
4. A little Grinch Funko Pop that'll keep them company while they hide away in their room from all the holiday parties.
5. This set of whiskey stones to keep their drink almost as cold as their heart.
6. A Mean Girls-inspired beanie that'll pretty much do all the talking for them.
7. This gorgeous, vintage-inspired Bluetooth record player because they'll delight in locking themselves alone in their room and listening to their Billie Eilish playlist — far, far away from anyone who could annoy them. Duh.
8. A satin pajama set that's so soft and silky feeling it'll have them smiling on the inside and outside for once.
9. Or! This tiny, fuzzy baby penguin plush because even they'll be happy to admit that animals are always better than people.
10. A tiny Herschel travel bag because it's darker than their soul and they can use it when they feel like going on a weekend getaway to recover from all the holiday season cheer.
11. And a travel guide so they never run out of cool places to hide from people.
12. This candle and room spray set they can use to banish the good vibes of anyone who dares to set foot in their room.
13. A collapsible silicone coffee cup so they can feed their soul with the darkest roast possible.
14. This coloring book because, hey, being the holiday Grinch takes a lot of energy and even they might find coloring therapeutic, especially when they get to color expletives.
15. A pair of noise-canceling headphones so they can finally block out all the holiday caroling and focus on their plan to stop Christmas from coming.
16. Matching holiday t-shirts so they (and a little Grinch in-training) can proudly put their best "leave me alone" face forward.
17. A baseball cap with the most ~charming~ of the seven dwarves, who they probably relate to.
18. These hot chocolate sticks because a warm cup of cocoa is guaranteed to make their heart grow three sizes bigger.
19. A subscription to Coffee and a Classic so they can take a break from their dislike of lines at the mall long enough to finish their new copy of The Scarlet Letter.
20. Some Dermal Korea sheet masks for when they need an excuse to skip the gift-wrapping and cookie swaps.
21. A deck of positive reminder cards because maybe an ounce of snark-infused inspiration is just the ticket.
22. And a fuzzy, wuzzy faux fur throw blanket because it's perfect to cuddle up with, especially with their very own Max the pup. 💚
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.