1. On technology:
This is the memorial for Steve the drowned security robot outside our office on his charging pad. The future is wei… https://t.co/zl1To2Saww
2. On Snapchat:
Imma jus take this L😭😭
3. On politics:
Saving this screenshot for when my grandkids ask me what 2017 was like.
4. On the death of MS Paint:
When you find out Microsoft is removing mspaint
5. On memes:
Stopped to clean my star on my kitchen floor. Nothing but respect for MY self.
6. And on two 2017 memes in one:
I'm sorry but the old Avril can't come to the phone right now.. Why? Oh, cause she's dead.
7. On Michael Phelps racing a shark:
When Michael Phelps said he was gonna race a shark this is how I pictured it happening #SharkWeek
8. On schezuan sauce:
Japan trying to figure out why Americans are going bonkers over Mickey D's schezuan sauce.
9. On the song of Summer 2017:
Wild Thoughts but it's replaced with Waluigi sounds
10. On Amazon and Whole Foods:
I, too, spend $13.7 billion at Whole Foods.
11. On LGBT icon, The Babadook:
diane keaton the OG babadook
12. On rompers:
its summer 2017 😈😤that means.. dudes wearin rompers 😍😜 late night fidget spinning 😎😆 possible world war 😮😳 tucking ur homies into bed ☺️❤️
13. On well, this:
2016 vs 2017
14. On every tweet for the last ten months:
its me im ur wcw yall already know what tf going on nothing but respect for my president ur doing amazing sweetie open for a surprise
15. On fidget spinners:
MY BROTHER GOT A FUCKING FIDGET SPINNER HAIRCUT
16. On this big ol' mess:
Dating - 2015: "Do I wanna spend the rest of my life w/this person?" 2017: "Do I wanna go thru the collapse of capitalism w/this person??"
17. On It:
stephen king: this scary clown should scare 'em 1990: Pennywise is gonna give me nightmares 2017: I want Pennywise to FUCK me
18. On the eclipse:
i will block the sun
19. On 2017 in general:
2017.