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24 Tweets By Women That Are All Funny, No Filler And Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

"'LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.' commands the small cushion. You whisper 'I'm trying' but that only makes it angrier."


Men who aren't ur bf: what kind of a fool doesn't massage & oil their girlfriend three hours a day Men who are: he…


can you imagine how hot we all would have seemed like 600 years ago


Every female chef on Chef's Table: "Food is an expression of love and I want to nourish the world" Every male chef…


other girls wearing low ponytails: smart, classy, professional, beautiful me wearing a low ponytail: will turner i…


[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I'm saying is maybe you guys shoul…


MEN: we're gonna stop flirting at work and giving unasked-for hugs WOMEN: great MEN: wait, no, you don't understand, those were threats


You ever send ya man a funny meme & he say he already saw wow u laughed at it & didnt think that maybe I w…


Women: Dear men, please treat us with respect Too many men: FINE, I GUESS I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO A WOMAN AGAIN EVER


Being a straight man on instagram is easy heres coffee and a book. The book is by david foster wallace. Or michael…


woman: [makes joke] man: okay you do realise this is INCORRECT? let me explain


Uterus: Look! I put up the wall paper for the new baby! Body: yeah... There isn't a baby. Not this month. Uteru…


Really happy they labelled which toothbrush covers are for men so I don't accidentally kill my husband, who is alle…


my face without makeup at home: glowy, fresh, fading acne scars my face without makeup in the mirror of a public to…


[me as a DJ] Where my single ladies at? *drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men


me on facebook vs. me on twitter


"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier


Dudes make fun of girls for duck face yet all their selfies look like the last known footage of them


Your MCM thinks texting “WYD” and “how’s work” ten times a day is getting to know you. he’s 31.



hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"


If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do


you vs. the girl he cheats with


I just wish white men could stop talking to me at this point


literally just saw a 10 year old girl wearing a shirt with sparkles that said "doing my best" fucking same bitch where'd you get that