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25 Tweets By British Women That Made Everyone Piss Themselves Laughing In 2017

"Imagine you lived in London and you open your front door to see some Instagram girl having a photoshoot on your white steps."

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In the jungle celebs spend four weeks with no food, cry most days because they miss their family and are surrounded… https://t.co/RtZmpD2zT6

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jst realised ‘mamma mia’ sounds like a northerner telling their mam theyre home n ive never been so amused

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ubereats: it will cost £3.50 extra to send this cheeseburger to your house me: ye ye ye hurry up gimme wikipedia:… https://t.co/DEtjRwsgiJ

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Imagine you lived in London and you open your front door to see some Instagram girl having a photoshoot on your white steps

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"What can I get my bf for Christmas? He already has me" STOAP IT. Get him fucking earphones so he doesny have to li… https://t.co/bYodhfFhCW

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"What's a great present for a soon-to-be-princess, Karen?" "Ah just get her some Star Mix."

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Next person to move to me has to pay a £500 deposit that they’ll get back on our wedding day

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when your mum shouts dinners ready but its not actually ready so you're just sat there like

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seriously ???? do @OfficialPLT think am fucking slenderman

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When I get married can someone remind me to take the hairband off my wrist before I walk down the aisle please

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Are you even English if you don't ask your taxi driver if they've been busy tonight

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mum offered me a bottle of vodka they've had for ages nd had to say no cus i know it's 70% water from me stealing it when i was 16

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im going to do my dissertation on the fact I’ve worked in a pub for 2 months and not once has a man used a straw. O… https://t.co/9qSzCouOlC

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attenborough: this...is a bird me: wow

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"I don't give money to homeless people because they'll just spend it on drugs" I've got news for you about your kids at uni Karen

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Why is it so hard to find ur pals that u lost in a nightclub but u can easily bump into 10 school mates and the hamster u lost when u were 5

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when i was younger i "xoxo" meant hugs and kisses now "xoxo" means i am being a sarcastic little prick

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WHY do customers wait till I've cashed off their order n then say 'aw here I've got the 25p'. Fuck off man I didn't graduate from hogwarts

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