1.
95% of having a job is just saying āsounds good!ā
2.
it's bleak how job hunting is a job in itself and the only reward is an actual job
3.
interviewer: ok great, do you have any other questions about the job? me: yes, (folding my hands & leaning in) does it suck ass
4.
Please quit telling me to ākeep up the good workā the good work was an accident and impossible to replicate
5.
Co-workers with kids: Omg guess what? My kid did the funniest thing yesterday! Me: Oh.....really, What did it do?
6.
me at age 17: fuck 9-5 office jobs! ill never be that boring xD me at age 24: sweet fucking jesus what do i do to get a 9-5 office job
7.
"can I speak to your manager?" First of all, they're gonna say the same exact thing I just told you and then we'll talk shit about you l8r
8.
When my coworkers try to talk to me at 8:59 am or 5:01 pm.
9.
Coworker: omg text me anytime you need a shift covered Me: can you work today Coworker: omg sorry my uncles hamster is in town or I would
10.
everyone: why were you late me: wow traffic was insane I am literally so sorry also me:
11.
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
12.
when you gotta greet your boss after they wouldn't let you call out sick
13.
When ya employer ask do u have a Twitter .. why yes , yes I do glad u asked ššš
14.
How to be a grown up at work: Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
15.
Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work.
16.
me: i don't have time for workplace drama, i'm here for a paycheck also me, when my coworker says she's annoyed w sā¦ https://t.co/ChPYcEDmSe
17.
When you get a work email at 5:01
18.
me: (texting boss) we still on for work today? boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri