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Just 25 Hilarious Tweets About Having Boobs

"I'd like to take a leap of faith, but my boobs are gigantic."


Girl fact: Training bras are like training wheels. they have two extra boobs u take off when ur ready 2 ride free


[first date] Him: Tell me about yourself Me: WELL, i didn’t wear a bra with my dress today so all my boob sweat dripped onto my feet


who the fuck looks at boobs and thinks "u know what goes with this...wire"


Relationship Status: Feeling up my own boobs and thinking, hey these are pretty awesome, I see what the fuss is about.


[2036] President Literally Just a Set of Boobs: Thank you, thank you! So proud to be the 1st president elected solely by YouTube comments


If you keep trying to escape, I'm going to have to tie you up tighter. -Me, to my boobs.


*Wipes phone on boob* -Blocks 5 people -Unfollows 3 -Sends 2 randoms nudes -Orders a pizza -Texts 'I miss you' to the ex



I worry a lot about the Singularity but Facebook just asked me to tag my own breasts as friends so I think we're good for a few more years


I call my boobs Shrek 2 and Ocean's 12 because despite some promise both failed to live up to my expectations.


I do all my own *stunts. *wrestle my boobs into my bra by myself.


Not sure he meant for me to gently massage, & speak softly to my breasts when he told me to "calm my tits", but he seems to be enjoying it.


"i can't even touch the ground anymore...but my boobs can!" --joke i'm gonna make all the time when i'm 90 probably


COSMO TIP: men enjoy light flirtatious talk so ask him to guess how many boobs you have


Why did God create breasts if not for a natural shelf to place potato chips?


my sister thinks she's soooo much better than me just because I got caught weighing my boobs on the produce scale at the grocery store


Keep snacks in your purse so if you ever catch someone staring at your cleavage you can pretend to feed your boobs & then watch their face.


If evolution is real then why don't men have inverted holes in their chests for our boobs to fit into when we hug them


I don't carry a wallet & I often put money inside my bra. At night when I undress, I pretend my boobs are paying me a ransom to be set free.


*Smoke alarm goes off* My Colleague: Quick grab two of your most valuable things! *Grabs boobs* *exists building*


I'd like to take a leap of faith, but my boobs are gigantic.


I hope pencils never become entirely redundant; using a laptop to test the droopiness of my boobs would be so depressing.


you know who deserves a SAG Award? my boobs


My nipples are there to help you locate my breasts in the dark.


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