1. Calling your dog so many names other than it's own and then worrying that it doesn't have a sense of identity.
2. Coming home when you've petted another dog and feeling like they can smell it on you.
3. Flipping your dog's ears back to make a stylish new hairdo.
4. Using their armpits as makeshift hand warmers.
5. Going WILD every time a dog is on TV and frantically pointing it out to your dog while saying "look!! that's you!" even when they're not interested.
6. Only pretending to throw the ball sometimes.
7. Chatting to your dog about their day while they wonder what you're going on about.
8. Choosing to forgo social plans so that you can stay in with them and hang out.
9. Seeing someone walk a dog that looks like yours and having a small, fleeting rage that they've stolen your dog and are parading them around before realising that's not the case.
10. Petting your dog with your feet when you feel too lazy to pet them with your hands.
11. Feeling a touch impatient when someone is showing off about their dog because you're not getting a chance to show off yours.
12. Laughing at your when one of their ears is flipped back by accident.
13. Wanting to be put on the phone to your dog rather than anybody else whenever you're away from them.
14. Pointing at a bit of dropped food when you feel too lazy to vacuum, because they'll get rid of it for you.
15. Spending so long saying goodbye to them in the morning that you've almost been late for work.
16. Talking gibberish in such a high pitched baby voice that you've not been sure what you're saying.
17. But talking to them like they're human when they've irritated you and saying things like "where's your common sense Marley?!"
18. Sometimes feeling too lazy to lint-roller your clothes and so going out with dog-hair covered clothes.
19. Laying on the floor to see if they would hypothetically save you if you were to faint.
20. Letting your dog kiss your face even when you know they were cleaning themselves the other day.
21. Not being able to see anyone with a dog without telling them that you also have a dog.
22. Using your dog as an excuse when you want to leave a party, or any event, early.
23. Spending more time researching the food best for your dog than you do with your own diet.
24. Turning every nap they have into a full-blown photoshoot.
25. Caving and giving them a teeny bit of your food because they're giving you the sad-eyes
26. Saying their name over and over in different voices to find out which one gets their attention.
27. Literally any time you accidentally hurt them and have to apologise 1000 times, before worrying that they won't understand how sorry you are.
28. Picking up their leash to put it somewhere else and then seeing them get excited because they think they're going for a walk.
29. Bribing them with a small treat to get them to come back in the house.
30. Watching them lift their leg to wee right outside some stranger's house but being powerless to stop them.
31. And finally, getting up to do anything when their head is resting on you and they're comfy