Used the front camera on your phone to show them what they look like.
Flopped their ears back a bit and called it their "new hairstyle".
Congratulated your dog for doing their business outside, several years into them being housebroken.
Come up with a name for your dog completely unrelated to its actual name.
And then changed the lyrics of a well-known song so that it's about your dog.
Taken it personally when your dog sits next to someone other than you.
Watched your dog's reaction when other dogs are on TV to see if they care.
Covered your dog's eyes when anything that might upset them comes on TV.
Exclaimed, "YOU'RE NUDE!" when you take your dog's collar off.
Said "bless you" whenever your dog sneezes.
Given them a long speech before leaving the house.
Had slightly heated discussions when they misbehave.
Held your dog's paw while relaxing on the sofa.
Winked back at them when they wink at you because it makes you feel like you're both in on something.
Used your dog's armpits as handwarmers.
Petted them with your feet more than you do with your hands.
Imagined what your dog's human voice would sound like.
Lain on the floor with your eyes shut to see if they will come and help you.
And listened to people talk about their dog while secretly thinking about how your dog is better.