1. Seeing a cute top from a distance, but on further inspection discovering it has “burritos are bae” written on the front.
2. Or a tiny bit of embroidery that says something like “bite me”.
3. Turning around a cute dress only to find out it’s backless.
4. Or has cut outs so that you can’t wear a bra with it.
5. Wondering why women are sold bras but then not sold clothes that you can actually wear a bra with.
6. Realising you’re in-between sizes on something you really like.
7. A dress turning out to be a playsuit.
8. And a top having the shoulders inexplicably cut out.
9. So deciding to get a nice, cosy jumper that will keep you warm.
10. But the jumpers having the shoulders cut out too because nothing is safe.
11. Seeing a cute top until you notice the crotch part, and realise it's actually a bodysuit.
12. Struggling to work out your size even is, because it seems to vary in different shops.
13. Seeing things are only available in small, medium or large.
14. Or are meant to be two sizes at once, i.e. 10-12.
15. Picking up a jacket only to discover the pockets are so tiny they’re useless.
16. Or they’re fake pockets, which are even worse.
17. Faffing about with the little ribbons attached to clothes whenever you try to take them off the hanger.
18. Wanting some ~casual~ T-shirts but only being able to find overly-fitted ones.
19. Realising upon inspection that most of the things you want are actually see-through.
20. So weighing up whether you should also be shopping for tops to wear under this see-through top.
21. Wanting to find something pretty standard, like a black skirt, but remembering they’re not in season according to shops at the moment.
22. Finding the top you want in your size but it having a big foundation mark on it, and then being paranoid that if you try it on and end up putting it back, people will think you are the culprit.
23. Panicking about how you look in the changing rooms because the lights are so deeply unflattering.
24. Bending over when trying on a dress or skirt to check the length of it, deciding to buy it anyway and just praying that you never drop anything while wearing it.
25. And realising you’ll need to buy more thongs because so many things seem to show your knicker line.
26. Trying on a button up shirt and either having a gap where your boobs are, or it hanging off your shoulders.
27. And trying to find a pair of jeans that fit your waist and bum, but failing.
28. Sweating because of the harsh lighting and being worried that later someone will pick up the clothes and complain they smell, and it’ll be because of you.
29. Especially when you remember most of the things you’re trying on are polyester, which only make you sweat more.
30. Trying on a skirt but being too lazy to take your jeans and shoes off, so pulling them down and modelling it with your trousers around your ankles.
30. Getting stuck pulling something over your head and feeling too embarrassed to call for help.
31. And thinking “well, I guess I’ll just die here, trapped with this dress stuck on me, and my big grey pants on display."
32. And at the end of it, when you’ve wrestled free, seriously considering doing more shopping in the men’s department.