19 Jokes That Are Literally You As A Lawyer
"Your honour... quick question. Am I winning?"
1.
![LAWYER: May I approach the bench?
JUDGE: You may.
LAWYER: [Walks up and whispers] That other guy is being, like, super mean right now.](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000213346840/5892c0faa81762c56aa26c06c1db30c1_normal.jpeg)
LAWYER: May I approach the bench? JUDGE: You may. LAWYER: [Walks up and whispers] That other guy is being, like, super mean right now.
5.
Me as a lawyer: *sits down* No further questions. *stands back up* I just think it's funny how
6.
![LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back?
STENOGRAPHER: "I Did The Murder."
JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/686615206143762432/oPzuGz8s_normal.jpg)
LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back? STENOGRAPHER: "I Did The Murder." JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed
8.
Me as a lawyer: Your honor, my client is a Gemini therefore he can't be held accountable for his actions while Mercury was in retrograde
9.
![[Me, as a lawyer]
Me: Your Honor, the defense rests
*puts eye-mask on, sets pillow on desk *](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/725595457523568640/0jFuGPqO_normal.jpg)
[Me, as a lawyer] Me: Your Honor, the defense rests *puts eye-mask on, sets pillow on desk *
11.
![Okay good point but can you please stop yelling at me
[me as a lawyer]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/690648881944727552/-nTO3-Wb_normal.jpg)
Okay good point but can you please stop yelling at me [me as a lawyer]
13.
![[folds piece of paper into a swan]
"Your honor. Would a murderer hire a lawyer who can do origami? Why yes, yes you may keep it"](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/726824334002638848/BEZFr1k8_normal.jpg)
[folds piece of paper into a swan] "Your honor. Would a murderer hire a lawyer who can do origami? Why yes, yes you may keep it"
14.
![[dog on trial for murder]
lawyer: who's a good boy?
dog: I am
lawyer: your honor I rest my case](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/758809429923930112/vFjSabQd_normal.jpg)
[dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case
16.
*me as a lawyer* judge: your witness counselor me: so do you know the wifi code? defendant: I'm not guilty me: is that all one word?
