Skip To Content

    19 Jokes That Are Literally You As A Lawyer

    "Your honour... quick question. Am I winning?"

    1.

    LAWYER: May I approach the bench? JUDGE: You may. LAWYER: [Walks up and whispers] That other guy is being, like, super mean right now.

    2.

    3.

    4.

    5.

    Me as a lawyer: *sits down* No further questions. *stands back up* I just think it's funny how

    6.

    LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back? STENOGRAPHER: "I Did The Murder." JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed

    7.

    8.

    Me as a lawyer: Your honor, my client is a Gemini therefore he can't be held accountable for his actions while Mercury was in retrograde

    9.

    [Me, as a lawyer] Me: Your Honor, the defense rests *puts eye-mask on, sets pillow on desk *

    10.

    11.

    Okay good point but can you please stop yelling at me [me as a lawyer]

    12.

    13.

    [folds piece of paper into a swan] "Your honor. Would a murderer hire a lawyer who can do origami? Why yes, yes you may keep it"

    14.

    [dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case

    15.

    16.

    *me as a lawyer* judge: your witness counselor me: so do you know the wifi code? defendant: I'm not guilty me: is that all one word?

    17.

    18.

    19.

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form