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16 Of The Most British AF TV Shows America Is Missing Out On

We're not all Downton Abbey and Doctor Who.

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1. Gogglebox.

Channel 4

There is a whole TV show dedicating to watching people watch TV, but it's so good. It's spawned so many iconic lines, including the one above. There's also a kids version called Gogglesprogs which gives pretty accurate assessments of shows.

2. Come Dine With Me.

Channel 4

People go to strangers' homes for a dinner party, score them, and then someone wins £1000. Okay Come Dine With Me isn't really even crap. It's not given due credit tbh. The bitching, the tactical scoring, the amount of potato dauphinoise that is made. We are lucky to have Come Dine With Me. Even if there are some sore losers.

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3. Grand Designs.

Kevin McCloud talking to people about the incredibly impressive buildings they intend to build is honestly just so soothing. Your heart will also momentarily swell with the belief that: "Hey, if this guy could make a sustainable house using materials around him and techniques from the Medieval times, I can get shit done too". Even if you don't get shit done, it's still nice.

4. Four In A Bed.

Channel 4

Even though this sounds like it should be sexy, it's just Bed and Breakfast owners reviewing other people's hotels, and running their fingers along sideboards so they can tut at the dust. But like all good reality TV shows, it's really quite bitchy, and there's lots of passive aggressive jabs where people imply that a continental breakfast isn't even a real breakfast.

5. Dinner Date.

A person chooses three menus out of five, and then goes on blind dates with the people behind the menus (which all have really cringe names for their courses). When they do pick the person they want to go on a second date with, it's very likely they will literally never see each other again after. The losers get a microwave meal for one, and if you're lucky you'll see an episode where a sore loser says "I don't even own a microwave" and so sits there in silence instead.

6. The Chase.

ITV

You answer questions as part of a team and then, individually,go up against the Chaser. You can set how high the stakes are, with having to answer more correct corrections equalling more money. Some people choose to answer the least amount of questions and actually lose money for the privilege. Tbh these people aren't held in high regard.

7. Homes Under The Hammer.

BBC One

This is prime day-off-sick TV. Anyone who says that they haven't secretly really enjoyed watching the transformations on Homes Under the Hammer is a liar. Someone buys a property at auction, talks about the renovations they're going to do, and then we find out how they've gotten on with it. This might sound like the least exciting thing ever but by the end of an episode you find yourself thinking things like: "Really Dennis? You got rid of the fireplace? Why don't you just piss on the house?"

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8. Take Me Out.

Take Me Out / Thames / FremantleMedia

A man comes down a "love lift", which sounds much more risqué than it actually is, and then he'll wave at the 30 single women who participate. He'll do some dancing as he "works the room", probably to Return of the Mack. Through a series of rounds, where they find out more about the guy, women turn their lights off if they're not interested. Out of the ones left, he gets to choose one to go on ~The Isle of Fernando~ with.

9. Location, Location, Location.

Channel 4

Honestly it's surprisingly entertaining watching a show that is just about someone buying a house. The person will probably want to buy a four bedroom house with good schools, a big garden and within commuting distance of London for £300,000 and not a penny more. This is a show largely about managing expectations.

10. The One Show.

BBC One

This is a "magazine" show where plausibly, a bit on the history of stairwells, a performance from a Welsh children's choir, and an interview with Matt LeBlanc could all potentially happen in one episode. And then maybe viewers will submit pictures of something funny they found in their house, anything goes tbh.

11. Love Island.

ITV2

10 single people, five guys and five girls, come onto the island ~looking for love~ and match up, with the aim of winning £50,000 prize. They bring in new people to break up the couples, including exes. There's lots of making up and breaking up, and everybody has sex within a very close vicinity to each other.

12. Pointless.

Like Family Feud / Fortunes depending on where you're from, but the opposite. Nothing will make you feel as smug and as getting a pointless answer (i.e. the answer least audience members chose) especially when it's on a really ~niche~ subject so you can think things like: "Oh my god, who wouldn't think of Kyrgyzstan when asked "what country has "a" as it's first vowel?"".

13. Escape to the Country.

BBC

We have something of a monopoly on kind-of-shit-but-actually-great property shows. It helps people find new homes in, unsurprisingly, the country. Even though it's not especially relatable and Mel and George's struggle to find a quaint cottage in Oxfordshire doesn't really resonate with you, it's still pretty entertaining.

14. First Dates.

Channel 4

Everyone needs to hear the deep wisdom of maitre d' Fred Sirieix who ruminates on life, love and loss at the beginning and end of every episode. And when there's a complete asshole on it, everyone watching it unites in a common enemy. They also do a little "this is what happened after" bit, which is nice but doesn't answer the "did they have sex?" question as clearly as everyone would like.

15. Saturday Kitchen.

BBC One

This is so soothing to watch when you're hungover, and you just want to watch people use a pestle and mortar and talk about what wine goes nicely with gammon. And there's an Omelette challenge, where people make a shit, runny omelette really quickly so that a picture of their face can be place high up on a board.

16. Don't Tell The Bride.

BBC

A couple are given some money for their wedding, on the condition that the groom plans the entire wedding. The couple don't see each other for weeks, the bride and groom want completely different weddings, at one point one of the bridesmaids will kick off and the best man will convince the groom to spend half the budget on a statue of a crocodile or something. This is our crowning jewel.

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