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Not catching feelings — only flights to my best friends.
Let me see that face!
The delivery man is basically my bestie now, too.
Look, a good laugh has no time preference.
Take it. I want shared custody of the food baby, though.
Hey, there’s a lot to share within a 24-hour period.
I’m finally an aunt to something — no thanks to my actual relatives.
Don’t let the bastards get you down.
It’s 2020. Why isn’t there a time machine for sale at Target yet?
Is this cute? Even from way over there?
I’m there in spirit. Never mind — that’s just creepy.
Let me tell you about this glow up really quick.
Pictures or it really didn’t even happen.
Eat, sip, and then spill that tea.
For example, Pennsylvania is hella into Groundhog’s Day.
Yes, you can be fashionably late to your own function. Just provide refreshments.
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
So, about that last chapter.
Seriously, where do we even come up with this crap?
BRB — catching a flight.