If You Are Single And Not Here For Cuffing Season You Will Relate To This
"I choose being single, because I love being alive."
Ahem. Hello everybody, please take a seat because I have an important announcement to make.
Now that I have your attention, I'd like to officially declare "cuffing season" as canceled.
I know it may come as a shock to some of you, however, I don't make the rules I just report them!
For those that are linguistically challenged in the colloquialisms of millennial slang, I'm here to help.
"Cuffing season" refers to the time of year where singles trade in their casual dating habits for the prospect of locking down a monogamous mate for the holiday season.
The theory goes that the holidays act as a catalyst for singles to seek romantic shelter from the bitter cold and perpetual loneliness.
But I'm here to disclose that the lie detector test determined that is a lie!
Now, we're not hating on those who decide to partake in the thirst-laden activities of the season.
But I'm not here for the holiday bullcrap that tells us we NEED someone just cause the temperature drops and it's nightfall by 4 p.m.
The truth of the matter is, there are plenty of reasons why one would willingly choose to be single during cuffing season.
Whatever the case is, there are plenty of perks to being single during the joyous holiday season.
For one, you're free to take the reigns at those booze-filled holiday parties full of hot singles.
And if social mixers aren't your thing, you can always retreat to Tinder. Even though you told yourself you wouldn't.
Keeping it casual during the holidays also prevents you from dealing with dreadful family introductions.
And the money saved on a hit-or-miss gift can be put into somebody more important (you).
And being single means you've got time to work on yourself...and your flexing game.
Because do you really wanna deal with someone hogging the blankets? You know what else keeps you warm?
So if anyone asks, you're living your best life and not looking back at the treacherous year.
So farewell cuffing season, it was fun while you lasted!
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