1.
"Hi" My name is "What?" My name is "Who?" My name is [chka chka] Slim Shady *scribbles on cup* "Ok Mr Shrimp Scabies, I'll start your latte"
2.
how bout i spell YOUR name wrong, Stahrbux. hm? how bout i pronounce it wrong, too, huh? you like that? how's that feel, Stlerbecks?
3.
Pretty soon Starbucks will stop being coy and offer to just shove a pumpkin & a fistful of nutmeg in your ass for $20.
4.
if you say "pumpkin spice latte" in the mirror 3 times a white girl in yoga pants will appear & tell you all her favorite things about fall.
5.
Starbucks is coming out with a Chestnut Praline Latte. Sounds less like a drink and more like a stripper giving her full name. #fallonmono
6.
#NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even
7.
Ughh fuck Starbucks and their corporate coffee, I deserve the finest hot bean water
8.
I spilled my pumpkin spice latte and now a bunch of ants are making brunch plans and doing yoga.
9.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make coffee at home, yell my name out incorrectly, then light a $5 bill on fire.
10.
Big ups to the guy who literally ran to get into Starbucks before me, great job man you made it
11.
chad this is unacceptable behavior for a starbucks employee. youre three hours latte! lol just a little coffee joke for you also youre fired
12.
Starbucks job interview: "What's your name?" "Alyssa" "Spell that please" "L A R I S S A" "When can you start?"
13.
If you call Starbucks "Starbs," I hope you get totes murds.
14.
if you want to fuck with Starbucks order a Latte and tell the Barista your name is Cappuccino
15.
[CSI at Starbucks] "Ma'am you've been robbed. Suspect is at large." Barista: At what? "At large" At what? "At venti?" OMG HOW AWFUL!!!
16.
[starbucks] barista: name? guy: [is a secret agent & can't reveal real name so he looks around for ideas] my name is
17.
Starbucks CEO: How do we charge people $4 for juice Marketing guy: How about we call them "Refreshers" CEO: Holy. Fucking. Shit.
18.
Taken 3 is just Liam Neeson beating the shit out of a Starbucks® barista who keeps getting his daughter's name wrong
19.
[in starbucks for first time] *hears people ordering fancy drinks and fancy sizes* *sweating* "YEAH I'LL HAVE THE BIG FUCKIN HOT ONE"
20.
Watching my mother-in-law order at Starbucks is like watching a drunk gorilla try to start a car with a french fry.
21.
it's offensive when cashiers look at money like it's fake if i knew how to counterfeit i'd be doing wilder shit than coming to Starbucks
22.
You're at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before.
23.
New Starbucks frap flavors: -Cotton Candy -Cupcake -Urinal cake -Enemy's Tears -Wet Sock -Actual Wasps -BLOOD! -Just a punch in the face
24.
[Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. "You ordered a Grande." Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. "Sir, please just take her."
25.
"A man must have a name." -Jaqen H'ghar taking your Starbucks order.
26.
I wish someone would look at me the way white girls look at pumpkin spice lattes.
27.
1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave