Books·Posted on Feb 23, 2015The 19 Funniest Neil Gaiman Tweets Of All TimeNeil Gaiman wins Twitter.by Jarry LeeBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. On being the best: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself I am the best there is at what I do. And what I do is put my phone down somewhere just around here honest and not be able to find it again. 11:55 AM - 09 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. On Tumblr: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself My spellchecker just softly and silently corrected "tumblr" to "tumor". And I thought, WHAT DOES IT KNOW THAT I DO NOT? 11:40 PM - 23 Jan 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. On the break of day: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Morning has broken. But we've glued it back together again and are confident no one will notice. 02:08 PM - 16 Apr 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. On his dog: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself My dog just said "woof". He didn't bark. He said "Woof". Like someone who doesn't know what dogs sound like. Then he looked embarrassed. 03:03 AM - 21 Nov 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. On Occupy Wall Street: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself I think there should be an Occupy Gallifrey. "Because 0.000001% of the people have 99.99999% of the Time." 03:58 PM - 10 Oct 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. On Earth's birthday: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself HAPPY 6015th BIRTHDAY, EARTH! Also, you're a Libra. 04:25 PM - 22 Oct 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. On Coraline: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself He did WHAT? RT @impossible_who: OMG I had no idea that @neilhimself wrote coraline!😮 01:19 PM - 31 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. On The Dark Knight Rises: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself The Dark Knight Rises was remarkable. Oscar nomworthy. I was impressed. Also things went boom and there was hitting. 02:34 AM - 17 Jul 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. On interpreting signs: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Do Not Tickle The Ooze sign. 03:15 PM - 15 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. On Friday the 13th: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself It's Friday the 13th! Time to head into the woods and stay in dark cabins and lose our virginity then die by the blade or the chainsaw. 04:43 AM - 13 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. On what his Australian obituary would be: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Although his beard looked like someone had glued it on & his hair would have been unconvincing as a wig, he married a rockstar #MyOzObituary 04:51 AM - 30 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. On editors: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Only because we ate the ones who displeased us. RT @rbp77: because inside every writer, there is a sub-editor. 05:44 PM - 04 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. On the Philippines: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself #itsmorefuninthephilippines hashtag is a true one. They applaud loudly and hug you a lot. 06:26 AM - 06 Jan 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. On having his life together: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself To anyone who thinks "that Neil Gaiman, he is a smart person who has his life together", I seem to have left my MacAir charger on a plane. 10:43 PM - 19 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. On Walmart: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself I have been to WalMart at midnight, & returned with a rawhide bone. I have been to Walmart at midnight, & you should not go there alone. 06:33 AM - 19 Dec 2010 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. On people in the universe: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Good night universe. Tomorrow I shall do my best to love everybody in you, unless they are trying to kill me with guns, bombs or tentacles. 06:04 AM - 14 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. On being clumsy: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself If you're especially brilliant and not at all clumsy you can spray handsoap over your jacket moments before appearing on Swedish television. 11:41 AM - 28 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. On his break from Twitter: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself Two more days and my Twitter Holiday is over. This tweet did or didn't happen. #SchroedingersTweet Tue Apr 29 16:04:19 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. And on what he thinks of himself: Neil Gaiman @neilhimself I think he should write faster. And get a haircut. RT @pottertardis: @neilhimself what do you think about neil gaiman Tue Aug 19 21:57:12 UTC+0000 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF