Food

17 Tweets About Whole Foods That’ll Actually Make You Laugh

“This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I chose my husband.”

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*walks into Whole Foods* Thank god I found you. The guys across the street are only selling parts of stuff

— Hippo (@InternetHippo)
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Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.

— Mikey (@KrunkedRobot)
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[whole foods] WHITE GIRL: excus me do u hav pumpkin EMPLOYEE: (hands her a pumpkin) here WHITE GIRL: no no no. PUMPKIN. its a type of spice

— jomny sun (@jonnysun)
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I once killed a man in a hit and run but the shame I felt when I told the Whole Foods cashier I didn't bring my own bag can never be matched

— Luke (@ELRoseHubbard)
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[robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag

— Terry F (@daemonic3)
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Got kicked out of Whole Foods for not wearing a tracksuit again

— Josh (@iwearaonesie)
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Who called it Whole Foods instead of House of Chards

— dan mentos (@DanMentos)
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Whole Foods sells $10 gift cards. The perfect gift for a loved one who wants two onions.

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad)
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My loan from the bank to buy milk from Whole Foods was approved.

— dak (@daplusk)
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Whole Foods before a snowstorm is upper middle class Thunder Dome.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman)
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Whole foods advertising for all your Super Bowl needs is like Barnes & Noble taking care of your bachelor party.

— Erica (@SCbchbum)
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Just told a guy who cut me off in the Whole Foods parking lot to eat a bag of dicks but then thought better of it and added THEY'RE ORGANIC

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt)

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