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23 Times Neil DeGrasse Tyson Was So Sassy It Hurt

Astrophysicist with attitude.

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1. On the end of the world:

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day

10:56 AM - 30 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. On measuring the length of blood vessels:

Just an FYI: If you removed all veins, arteries, & capillaries from your body and laid them end to end, you will die.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Just an FYI: If you removed all veins, arteries, & capillaries from your body and laid them end to end, you will die.

10:54 AM - 26 Jul 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

3. On intelligent life:

I'd bet aliens have already visited us, but after careful observation concluded there's no sign of intelligent life on Earth.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I'd bet aliens have already visited us, but after careful observation concluded there's no sign of intelligent life on Earth.

1:16 AM - 14 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. On alternative medicine:

Q: What do you call Alternative Medicine that survives double-blind laboratory tests? A: Regular Medicine.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Q: What do you call Alternative Medicine that survives double-blind laboratory tests? A: Regular Medicine.

1:12 AM - 31 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

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5. On professional athletes:

Based on comments from winning players, it's remarkable how much time God spends to help athletes defeat their opponents.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Based on comments from winning players, it's remarkable how much time God spends to help athletes defeat their opponents.

4:28 PM - 18 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. On middle fingers:

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

2:08 PM - 22 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. On The Los Angeles Angels:

Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?

9:10 PM - 10 Jul 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. On "toxins":

The likelihood that a person uses the word "toxin" correlates strongly with how much Chemistry the person does *not* know

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

The likelihood that a person uses the word "toxin" correlates strongly with how much Chemistry the person does *not* know

2:19 PM - 17 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

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9. On Snoop Dogg:

If @RealJeffreyRoss and other comedians honored @SnoopDogg, would that be a “Pot Roast”?

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

If @RealJeffreyRoss and other comedians honored @SnoopDogg, would that be a “Pot Roast”?

7:33 PM - 15 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. On July 4th:

July 4 - Happy Birthday USA. Celebrating the day we declared Independence, and not the day we actually achieved it.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

July 4 - Happy Birthday USA. Celebrating the day we declared Independence, and not the day we actually achieved it.

1:22 PM - 04 Jul 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. On "total eclipses":

Total Eclipses occur every couple of years or so. If anyone calls them "rare", ask if they feel that way about the Olympics.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Total Eclipses occur every couple of years or so. If anyone calls them "rare", ask if they feel that way about the Olympics.

11:28 AM - 13 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12. On the state of television:

America 2012: The Learning Channel has HoneyBooBoo, History Channel has PawnStars: and the Science Channel has PumpkinChunkin

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

America 2012: The Learning Channel has HoneyBooBoo, History Channel has PawnStars: and the Science Channel has PumpkinChunkin

12:19 AM - 11 Oct 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

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13. On the "Super Moon":

Moon Lunacy strikes again: The impending Supermoon is to an average full Moon what a 16" Pizza is to a 15" Pizza. So chillax.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Moon Lunacy strikes again: The impending Supermoon is to an average full Moon what a 16" Pizza is to a 15" Pizza. So chillax.

4:10 PM - 04 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. On hip-hop:

I’m quite sure that Frogs were into Hip-Hop long before the music industry was.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I’m quite sure that Frogs were into Hip-Hop long before the music industry was.

11:32 AM - 22 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15. On soccer players:

I wonder what Rugby players think every time they see a Soccer player crying in pain from being grazed by another player.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I wonder what Rugby players think every time they see a Soccer player crying in pain from being grazed by another player.

4:44 PM - 09 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. On psychics:

A news headline you hardly ever see: "Psychic Wins the Lottery Again"

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

A news headline you hardly ever see: "Psychic Wins the Lottery Again"

4:49 PM - 24 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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17. On Spanish sportscasters:

Good thing Spanish fútbol sportscasters don’t announce basketball, they’d spend 1/3 of playing time saying “Goooooooooooool”

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Good thing Spanish fútbol sportscasters don’t announce basketball, they’d spend 1/3 of playing time saying “Goooooooooooool”

5:29 PM - 13 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

18. On plane cabins:

Flight Attendants say: "Cabin pressurized for your comfort & safety." What they mean is: "otherwise you'd freeze & suffocate"

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Flight Attendants say: "Cabin pressurized for your comfort & safety." What they mean is: "otherwise you'd freeze & suffocate"

3:42 PM - 25 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. On "Miss Universe":

Astrophysicists are monitors of extreme adjectives. Which is why "Miss Universe" to us is just "Miss Earth".

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Astrophysicists are monitors of extreme adjectives. Which is why "Miss Universe" to us is just "Miss Earth".

9:25 PM - 26 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. On airport customs:

Had to wait in line to renew a Passport allowing me to visit members of my own species across artificially conceived borders.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Had to wait in line to renew a Passport allowing me to visit members of my own species across artificially conceived borders.

4:34 PM - 05 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

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21. On Olympic curling:

I occasionally wonder whether people who are good at Olympic Curling are also good at sweeping out the basement.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I occasionally wonder whether people who are good at Olympic Curling are also good at sweeping out the basement.

3:05 PM - 21 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. On Red Bull Stratos:

I'm told somebody's jumping out of a perfectly good balloon from 23-miles up. The theory of gravity no longer needs to be tested in this way

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I'm told somebody's jumping out of a perfectly good balloon from 23-miles up. The theory of gravity no longer needs to be tested in this way

11:30 AM - 09 Oct 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

23. And on his DJ name:

If I were ever to become a Hip-hop DJ,I think I'd choose the name "MC-squared"

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

If I were ever to become a Hip-hop DJ,I think I'd choose the name "MC-squared"

10:49 PM - 14 Jul 12ReplyRetweetFavorite