1. There are no stunning national landmarks.
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2. There are no gorgeous museums to get lost in.
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3. It barely has any castles.
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4. The architecture is total crap, actually.
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5. There are never any street festivals.
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6. It's not a short drive away from a vast national park.
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7. In fact, if you wanted to take a scenic run along a river with views of downtown, you're out of luck.
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8. It doesn't even have a canal.
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9. It barely has a historic market where you can shop, eat, or enjoy a beer on a patio.
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10. It certainly doesn't fill up with thousands of tulips every spring.
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11. Nope, no tulips here.
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12. Not one flower in this city.
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13. Oh yeah, and there are no beaches.
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14. It's a city with empty streets, a city fun forgot.
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15. Don't bother ever coming over.
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Correction: A previous version of this article wrongly referred to the Ottawa River as the world's largest skating rink. That is incorrect. Unlike the author's heart, the Ottawa River doesn't freeze.
