1. You have your own Facebook page.
2. You are so important people YouTube any interaction with you.
3. People think you're albino, but you're not. Life's difficult as a fox squirrel.
4. You wish you had a phone to Google albino squirrels and show people what they really look like.
5. If you die, it makes headlines.
6. But alas, your death was faked by an impostor albino, so you'd like to let everyone know that the real albino is still out there. And in some circles, he is known as the squirrel who LIVED.
7. People feed you weird things.
8. Sometimes, you're just hot.
9. Sometimes, days are just rough.
10. You love your human pets.
11. No one lets you eat your nuts in peace.
12. In your environment, turtles are the competition. How are you to survive if college students feed their leftovers to reptiles?!
13. You are a kleptomaniac.
14. You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You is preserved.
15. You participate in Selfie Sunday.
16. When it comes to cameras, you know how to work it.
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