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    26 Reasons You Are Rodney Ruxin

    Deep down we are all The League's perennial asshole.

    1. You've got wicked awesome dance moves.

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    Corn dog, corn dog, corn dog.

    2. You know your worth.

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    Friends might say you're immodest, but you're just telling it like it is.

    3. You readily admit you're a terrible person.

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    First step is admitting you have a problem, amirite?!

    4. And your friends admire your terribleness.

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    A compliment is a compliment, right?

    5. You're well aware that vodka is the solution to any dilemma.

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    Try to tell me it isn't.

    6. But if you happen to solve too many dilemmas with vodka you know how to perfectly sum up your hangover.

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    Seriously. That is exactly what a hangover feels like.

    7. You know how to deliver a sick burn.

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    LOLZ Andre.

    8. Religion doesn't make a whole lot of sense to you.

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    ...but for realz, what is it?

    9. You have the perfect cure for when you're having a bad day.

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    Sounds like perfection to me.

    10. No one understands how hard life is for you.

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    Ugh, it's so hard being male, middle-class and white.

    11. You have an appreciation for using your phone as an actual phone.

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    You may be alone in that though.

    12. You like to be in control.

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    It is pretty erotic.

    13. You know who is really important in life.

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    Awwwww.

    ...or then again maybe you're just really good at crunching the numbers.

    14. You're kind of a foodie.

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    RIP Shakespeare. :'(

    15. You're a total rebel.

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    You're so naughty!

    16. You have an uncanny ability to make up your own words.

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    Makes sense to me.

    17. You're the best at fantasy football.

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    Well, except when you're the worst and have your likeness put on the Sacko.

    18. You're incredibly rational.

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    True story.

    19. You aren't afraid to show some PDA.

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    Especially with the bros.

    20. You have your own catchphrase...

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    ...which you annoy your friends with daily.

    21. You're able to exclaim anger and disbelief so eloquently.

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    Try to find a better phrase to sum up those emotions. You can't.

    22. You're the snazziest dresser among your friends.

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    So much gingham. So many pastels.

    23. You know you're smarter than all of your friends.

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    Unless those friends also happen to wear glasses.

    24. You value cleanliness.

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    Cleanliness is next to godliness.

    25. But most of all you can show a full range of emotions without saying a word.

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    Anger/frustration.

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    Disgust.

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    Excitement to confusion.

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    Jubilation.

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    And the classic: I am so unimpressed with everything right now.

    26. So go forth shit-sippers because deep down you know...

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    Can't argue with that.