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Here's Why You Don't Have To Dump Your Partner When You Go To Uni

It's about what's right for your relationship, not what went wrong in someone else's.

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Anybody who's had a serious relationship in school knows it's hard to get people to take you seriously.

Its touching seeing young couples in love & so naive. Reminds me of when I was 16 & truly believed that my highschool bf & I would make it.

People assume that because something went wrong for them or someone they know, they're an expert on the trajectory of your relationship, which is pretty unfair.

It's even harder to get the jaded masses to support your decision to stay together when you go off to uni.

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Around this time of year, as freshers are under way and some people are trying to start a big part of their lives, some other people want to tell them how to do it.

But the truth is, it's totally OK to follow your own path, single or coupled.

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There's no right or wrong way to have a uni experience, and your social life can expand beyond the horizons of who lives in your halls.

Sure, heading off to the next chapter in your life with emotional baggage isn't the right choice for some people.

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If you feel like your partner would hold you back from being who you want to be as an adult, then you're right: It's probably time to move on.

But for others, giving your relationship a chance to grow with you is the right step to take.

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Just because you're young, it doesn't mean you haven't found a great support system in your partner. If you want to stay with them because your relationship enhances the other areas of your life, uni isn't going to flip a switch and change all that.

First of all, let's talk about how technology makes long-distance relationships much more feasible these days.

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It's not the same thing as seeing them in person every day, but if they're sending you lecture selfies and pictures of their morning coffee, you can practise good communication skills and stay close even if you're far away.

And sticking with a supportive longterm partner means you have someone to share this scary, new experience with.

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Even if they're far away, they're still someone to talk through your day with, to analyse the new world you've just found yourself in, and to give you love and support.

Because uni can actually be a really lonely place.

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Just FYI, everyone else also spends a disproportionate amount of time lying in bed alone watching iPlayer and wondering how they fit in, and it's actually really nice to have someone on the outside in your corner. Of course a friend or family member can fill this role, but so can a partner back home. It all depends on what's right for you.

And truth be told, being off the market takes a lot of social pressure off.

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When you're not worried about dating as soon as you hit freshers' week, you can just, like, meet cool people and make friends for life.

Not everyone is into random hook-ups.

If you're happy in your relationship and you're not one for playing the field, it's a solidly silly move to abandon what's good just because the internet and your mid-twentysomething cousin says it's more fun that way.

But open relationships are also an option, if that's your thing.

If you think you can handle this compromise, talk it out. There's nothing wrong with setting down ground rules.

Basically, it's not a "dump them right now or marry them tomorrow" ultimatum.

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You can take as much time as YOU need to explore your relationship, see how things are going when you're apart, and keep an open line of communication about how things are working for both of you.

And anyone who thinks it's that simple probably isn't the best person to take advice from.

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When people are telling you you're making a big mistake, remember the one golden rule: Pretty much all relationship advice is bullshit. You do you, let other people do them.

Obviously, you need a balance.

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You need your own new life as well as keeping up everything with your S.O., but this is the case in every relationship, long distance, young, old, or otherwise.

Just remember it's YOUR uni experience.

Plenty of people regret going to uni tied down. Plenty of people don't regret fighting for a relationship while they were in uni. Plenty regret letting someone important get away, and plenty don't regret the lessons a failed relationship taught them. Work out where you sit and be honest with yourself about what's going to be best for you right now.

And you have to trust yourself and your partner.

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You know if it's going to be worth it, deep down. You know if you really want it to work or not. Trust those feelings – forget the articles and family advice, follow your own gut on this one, whatever it's telling you.

In the end, as long as you make the right choice for you, there's no need to regret.

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Even if it doesn't work out forever, you tried something with a great person, you did what felt best for you at the time and you made a choice that called for a lot of hard work and long nights. PROPS.

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