In an article titled JOMO vs. FOMO, Allan Wills talks about the "Joy of Missing Out" and how it contradicts the popular term FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out.
The act of JOMO-ing is "shutting the world out for sustained lengths of time."
Wills claims that "the world has changed from a time of 'I'm not here' to 'I'm here, look, I'm here. Everyone needs to know!'"
From experiencing JOMO either one Friday night or 7 nights a week, you know at one point you've shuddered at the thought of associating with people. Ugh.
So, without further ado, here are 25 reasons why you should be proud of having JOMO.
Yes, I'm talking to you, groutfit girl, who probably hasn't showered in 4 days.
1. You are SIGNIFICANTLY more awake and ready for the day if you stay in the night before.
"What do sobers dream of when they take a little sober snooze?" If I were to guess, I would say rainbows, cotton candy, world peace… all things beautiful on this planet.
2. Cover at the bar (~$5) is expensive.
Two coffees. A slice of pizza. A Shake Weight. All things I would rather buy than cover to a bar that smells like chlorine and regret.
3. Sweatpants are always more comfortable than going-out clothes. Hands down.
Aren't the lyrics to that The Weeknd song, "ask me if if I wear sweats everyday, I say often"?
4. You aren't forced into having small talk with people you dislike.
Sorry, annoying girl in my Econ discussion, you don't have to tell me how the pregame you went to was "legendary"-- I saw your 200 second Snap Story and still wasn't convinced.
5. You aren't forced into having small talk with people you like.
I respect you because you always throw me likes in Insta, but if you ask me to take one more selfie with you, I may scream.
6. Your friends can ditch you, but Netflix will always be on your side.
"Are you still watching?" Asks Netflix.
"Forever," I respond, "you and me, everyday."
7. You can eat whenever and whatever you want.
Does anyone else ever stuff a bag of Cheetos in their purse to eat while feeling socially awkward at a party? … No…? Yeah, Me neither...
8. You can listen to other people's embarrassing stories the next day and secretly love it because none of it happened to you.
"There, there. It's okay. EVERYONE has eaten 12 Snickers ice cream bars and fallen asleep in the shower while trying to use Nutella as shampoo. Yes, its happened an uncountable number of times!"
When I say uncountable, I mean zero.
9. Waiting in line for a bar is horrid.
Don't you DARE tell me you're not letting me in after I waited on the line for an hour and a half. I gave you everything! I was half a tequila virgin when I met you!
10. Are hangovers EVER fun? Didn't think so.
I've never broken a bone, but I am pretty sure I've broken every chance I have of being able to donate my liver.
11. You don't have to go through the stress of picking out an outfit.
Crop top or t-shirt dress? Romper or jeans? Whatever it is, it has to be black. I'm mourning the death of my sanity.
12. You can go another day without shaving.
A day spent without a razor is always a day well spent. Just probably not well scent.
13. You KNOW you want that "special someone" to wonder where you are.
Nothing says "I want to date you" more than sending him one worded texts and not showing up to his birthday pregame. You got this! (-_-)
14. You don't have to face that whole awkward "why didn't you answer my text today?" conversation.
Dude, you sent me a text with "wazz" instead of "whats." Frankly, you just set yourself up for failure.
15. You won't feel the need to text anyone because they'll all be out.
If I had a dime for every person texted me asking if I was going out tonight I would have… $-0.20.
16. Making plans sucks.
Who's going where? And your boyfriend is somewhere else? And the other girls are going at WHAT TIME? Panic. I need a Xanax.
17. Your bed will hold you closer than anyone ever could.
IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!
18. No one wants to be in charge of their sloppy friends.
I know, I know... it's terrible that a guy you have Facebook stalked over 300 times didn't say hi to you at the bar. But you have to respect the restraining order and move on.
19. You won't be stuck taking 48 pictures of a bunch of girls.
"Wait, that one was blurry, can we get another?"
"No, no, flip the phone. Like-- no, the other way-- YES. There you go."
"OMG my legs literally look like tree trunks. Please, one more!!!"
I'm about to knock you over the head with a tree trunk.
20. You can avoid the stress of coming up with an Instagram caption to perfectly label your night.
"How about, 'All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriends'!!!!!!!!"
All I need in this life of sin is brownie batter and tranquilizer gun.
21. You can't lose anything if you stay at home.
Your phone, your wallet, and your dignity. Hold those dear to your heart, friend.
22. You can be as NIM as you want. No one will ask you any questions if you're alone.
NIM: Not in the mood. Nope, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood. Yes, I do want to kick you in the shin for asking.
23. If you go out, you will come home sweaty, smelly, and... sweaty.
I will need to shower 14 times and go to church to get this stench of sin off me.
24. You may not remember all of your night if you go out, but you'll never forget that 6th episode of Scandal.
"Waiting for the answers to a fuzzy night is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing." - A Cinderella Story.
25. You get the choice to hang out with people you actually care about.
You bring the snacks, I'll bring the self-loathing.
Find the JOMO. Feeeel the JOMO.
