George Osborne Spends £250,000 Researching Why Seagulls Shit Everywhere

    "I'm absolutely thrilled," said a Lib Dem MP in reaction to the news.

    George Osborne has pledged a quarter of a million pounds towards research into seagulls that attack people and shit everywhere.

    Tucked away in the chancellor's annual budget was news that £250,000 will be spent on research to help tackle the problems "very aggressive gulls" are causing throughout the UK.

    It will examine the problem of birds damaging roofs and buildings, carrying salmonella, and even dive-bombing unsuspecting people.

    It's hoped the research will lead to a better understanding of seagull behaviour so they can be tracked and prevented from terrorising people and shitting on things.

    Liberal Democrat MP Don Foster declared himself "thrilled" by the news that the nation's seagulls will get their comeuppance.

    "I am absolutely thrilled that the government has finally committed funding to this issue," said the MP for Bath, where the seagull problem is apparently "pernicious".

    Foster is a long-term campaigner for anti-seagull action, having held a "seagull summit" in 2012 where local MPs and people affected by the seagull issue discussed the problem.

    "Urban gulls cause mess, noise, and damage to property, and are very aggressive in the nesting season," he said.

    "There is not enough data to enable a strategic approach to the problem, and I have long been pressing for funding to be given so that progress can be made."

    A Treasury source said the government is committed to tackling seagulls.

    "The government is looking at ways we can deal with the scourge of urban seagulls," said the source. "It can be quite a big issue to people in urban areas, particularly in Gloucester and Bath."

    Universities and research centres are being encouraged to bid for the funding.

    H/T @laurapitel.