back to top

21 School Lunches You’ll Thankfully Never Eat Again

Potato smilies just look so unsettling.

Posted on

1. A bland sponge cake with some pink custard to jazz up proceedings.

The pink custard was there to visually trick your tastebuds into thinking that what you were eating actually had some flavour to it. It didn't.

4. The now infamous turkey twizzler.

We all hassle Jamie Oliver for taking these away from us, but let's be honest, we'd never want to eat them again.


6. A mostly jamless jam roly-poly with custard.

Should have just been called a roly-poly to tbh.

7. An unsettling mob of potato smileys, usually served with baked beans.

Why were they smiling???

8. Rice pudding with a tiny teaspoon of jam in the centre.

That dollop of jam in the centre was iconic, but it didn't make up for the fact that rice pudding is granny food.


11. The controversial combination of chicken drummers and spaghetti hoops.

Beans definitely would have gone better with drummers.


13. Lumpy mash potato.

At some point during the meal's preparation the cook just thought "fuck it" and probably went for a cigarette out back.

14. A semi-defrosted arctic roll.

You either love it or you hate it.

16. Turkey dinosaurs that you were specifically told not to play with.

Why shape food like a T-Rex and then shout when people march the across your plate making "rawr" noises.


17. Chips that either had the consistency of concrete or of wet cement.

They were alway too soggy or too hard – NEVER in between.

19. Potato cubes even though there were already enough carbs on the plate.

Another from the dinner lady's preferred culinary style of cubism.

20. Rectangular veg for some unexplained reason.

Seriously, what is it with dinner ladies and squares?

21. A lackluster iced bun.

Literally just a bread roll with a bit of icing on top. Try again.