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24 Tweets You'll Laugh At, Even If You Don't Want To

"FOODHACK: put a bread in the toaster for a crunchy surprise."

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ᵒᶰʷᵃʳᵈ ᵐʸ ˢᵗᵗᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵃᵏ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰ ᵉ ᵗʳᵃˢʰ

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Hot days are hard for goths. leave a large bowl of water out for your local goth teen / adult

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why did i see this picture and think the count was on drag race

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well then what the fuck am I supposed to call it when I run out of moths

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ʸᵉᵃʰ ᶜᵃᶰ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰ b o n e l e s s cat

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Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff

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this dog looks exactly how renaissance painters thought dogs looked like and im in love

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FOODHACK: put a bread in the toaster for a crunchy surprise

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I love this dude because he's just like "IT'S A LIVING!"

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I am a girl I dont smoke, drink, or party I dont sleep around I eat 5,000 ticks per season I am immune to rabies I am north america's only marsupial YES, WE EXIST. https://t.co/93fW2T4wpv

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Date: What do you do? Me: [holds up menu] you just choose a meal from this book of food

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I have two requests if I die unexpectedly: 1. Sprinkle my remains on each member of *NSYNC, even Chris 2. Do not cremate me

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the internet has allowed more minds to connect than was ever thought possible prior, and this is what we’ve come up with https://t.co/3jlEIKBSeC

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If any of you are forced to attend this movie please do this

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I don’t pretend to fully understand it, but chess is a beautiful game to watch.

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ME: ugh turn this off, I hate depressing movies GOD: This is your life flashing before your eyes ME: Put Ratatouille on