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22 Tips For Getting Drunk Without Making A Total Dick Of Yourself

A photographic guide.

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1. Choose wisely where you decide to take a piss.

2. And try to avoid sitting in it.

3. Don't try to make your own food.

4. In fact, it's probably best to just stay out the kitchen.

5. Midnight snacks just aren't worth the hassle.

6. Don't accept drunken dares like fitting a whole box of straws into your mouth.

7. Make sure you have kind, caring, and considerate friends.

8. If you don't, and the room starts spinning, don't ask them for help.

9. If your phone's out of battery at the end of the night, put it on charge.

10. Always remember your ID.

11. Hell, it's best not to ride anything at all when you're drunk.

12. You should probably get a taxi, but DON'T fall asleep in it.

13. Don't drink to the point where you're unable to hold your own head up unassisted.

14. Find a suitable place to sleep indoors.

15. Preferably a bed.

16. Note: But not a flower bed.

17. And if you need to take a seat, choose one that you won't get stuck in because it's designed for kids.

18. Don't get drunk and steal an animal from a circus.

19. And definitely don't go bringing animals home with you.

20. Keep an eye out for walls.

21. Whatever you do, don't text.

22. And never, ever get a tattoo.