1. Goudie @Goudie15 Why dae folk ask babies stupid shite lit "Ur gettin big arent ye?" As if the wee cunts gony be like aye Moira yer spot on am oan the protein 07:05 PM - 10 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. gamiejray @Jamiegrayrfc Canny believe we nearly got wee alan to fit into a Kopparberg box 03:16 PM - 03 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Butt Sleigh ❄️ @Butsay_ pensioners love gawn on buses when its roastin n shuttin the windaes, aww yes boil me alive Agnes beat me wae a ladle n call me lentil soup 11:14 AM - 12 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. The Blurst of Times @BatmanAnderson Nandos hostess asked a boy wi ripped skinny jeans n huaraches if he'd been before Waste a breath. Let him in the back he'll cook it himsel. 03:56 PM - 06 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Robbie Fairley @Robbiefairley Ma pal dropped an eccie down his decking and he's taking it apart tae get it 😂 a love ma pals 08:04 PM - 18 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Adam @barnettsufc primary school wa the best, a free gig every mornin just beltin out pure jesus anthems, fuckin quality 09:17 AM - 27 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Goudie @Goudie15 Barber could staple a pic ae yer maw gettin shagged tae yer heed but when he holds up that wee mirror you'd still be like ideal mate cheers 05:12 PM - 24 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Twitter: @butsay_ 9. perry @SloanPerry when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom 01:59 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Ryannn @RyannnMcG Done my driving test that many times il be at the dvla christmas night oot man 09:30 PM - 10 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. . @Ryan_McCran A see one thing and one thing only 11:03 PM - 18 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Scott @ScottJStruthers A got vodka in my eyes during Cascada n it looked like a was greetin, and some guy just patted me on the back n said "mate a know" hahaha 10:08 PM - 13 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Goudie @Goudie15 Clowns are just goths on eccies 04:21 PM - 06 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Twitter: @seancarrigg1 15. Steph @stephanieclarkx My cousin took her washing up to my grans for her to do & she went back to pick it up & my gran had sewed her ripped jeans up😭😭😭 I am crying 04:47 PM - 21 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Charlie Clarke @charlieclarkee_ hilarious flynns heavy para cause he's text his maw this 07:57 PM - 04 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Butt Sleigh ❄️ @Butsay_ baby coughin on a bus right as a needed tae cough so a nearly exploded hawdin it in cos a didny wanty look like the guy who copies babies 02:04 PM - 23 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Colin @SundayMorninCol Somecunt's stole aw the windaes aff that house 09:30 AM - 15 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. cait @cxitlan im at the age where people r askin "so what u doin with ur life" n im like mate am genuinely jus here for a laff x 06:06 PM - 03 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Twitter: @RyanPrinty 21. - @_RyanBryce Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says "have you got any nut allergies" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut 12:02 PM - 30 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Fitzo @fitzoo_10 Tonic the hedgehog 10:44 PM - 27 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. zaK @ClickyByro my brother just got his 4th unconditional for uni and av just eaten a dog biscuit thinkin it was chocolate 09:00 PM - 28 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. sarah @srahelizabth Just realised that my club stamp says yer da sells avon, ffs scotland 01:16 PM - 30 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Philip MacGregor @PhilipMacgregor Mums rajing cause she put the washing out then went on holiday for 10 days came back and it was still out kate that's no in my payroll hen 09:55 AM - 30 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Butt Sleigh ❄️ @Butsay_ naw mate he's a fucking loser 07:14 PM - 03 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Amanda Cochrane @mandacoch Peoples boyfriends buy them glow kits and eyeshadow palettes and mine is like 09:58 AM - 14 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. Paul Black @paulbIack Mental what a couple a fairy lights can do, ye could put them on a deed body n id be like omg that's fucking lovely get that on ma Instagram 09:04 PM - 14 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. robbiegarrick @robbiegarrick Canny believe Gregors away in a huff cause we were slagging him for dressing like a train seat hahahahah 06:24 PM - 04 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. Josh Rogers @JoshRogers23 If u see somecunt in the cinema buy popcorn, nachos n a juice theyre a drug dealer. No other explanation for that sort eh disposable income 08:17 PM - 06 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. brandon @shsawda3529 Canny see that lasting three month pal 03:15 PM - 05 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Butt Sleigh ❄️ @Butsay_ dae goths have afters? like the moon's nice the night lads mon back tae ma haunted pad for a can a monster n a mosh pit 10:56 PM - 05 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. Twitter: @jonnycardle 34. Megan Macleod @_StarsX Member the days when you used to drop your phone n the battery would fall out. Now if you drop your phone your heart falls out ur arsehole 08:28 AM - 05 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. Twitter: @caihrnsweeney 36. Connor Magill @ronnoclligam Wit if Scotland just refuses to leave the eu? Like aw just say naw n tell England "wit ye gonny Dae phone the polis?" 02:47 PM - 24 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 37. Twitter: @fraserdumbreck 38. Jamie Currie @jamiecurrie00 any clown comes anywhere near ma personal bubble get yer fuckin stopwatches out cos usains record is getting shagged 03:27 PM - 06 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 39. Twitter: @LewisElli0t 40. Goudie @Goudie15 Fuckin mastermind at KFC drive thru just asked if a was sittin in or takin away...Aye hold the door open tae a reverse inside ya stupit dick 10:24 AM - 09 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 41. Ellie Greenman @elliegreenman Hit an all time low having to get a taxi home with the dog he's that fucked from a 20 minute walk my god 01:41 PM - 15 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 42. montyyyy @montyyy_x Get me on the next camel tae seshlahem 08:45 AM - 17 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 43. . @Ryan_McCran Ma maw knows a hate shreddies, n she's been hidin the scran in here for fkn ages wit a snake 04:39 PM - 10 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 44. Gatzie @GarryCook_ Pmsl callums just failed his driving test cause he stopped to ask me if a needed a lift 😂😂😂😂 04:16 PM - 21 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 45. Matt Murphy @maattmurphy Hate these wee pricks , actual sit on yer plate n laugh at ye cos yer dinner is shite 06:46 PM - 16 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 46. sheep @cannyswim Canny stick cunts who always go on saying "i dont need alcohol to have a good time" aye that's good for you enjoy your fruitshoot ya cabbage 04:01 PM - 03 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 47. Goudie @Goudie15 Here is there like "German Twitter" or "Italian Twitter" where mad euro cunts are firin out hilarious spaghetti bolognese patter? 08:59 PM - 18 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 48. . @daftnonsense Throwback to ma last decent sleep 07:06 PM - 20 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 49. JustMunz @_IamMunz_ @policescotland hi guys just a quick question, is it legal or illegal to slide tackle a goth? 01:26 AM - 05 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 50. hayley @hayleyburt0n Taylor Swift seems like the kinda weirdo ye had in yer primary class that barked when ye spoke to them 01:36 PM - 17 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 51. Iain @IainJohnstone4 Didn't know Airdrie was bilingual. 05:29 PM - 02 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 52. bethany 🎈 @Bethanyreid__ burd in the pub kept tellin everycunt her cat had thumbs n then we ended up in her gaff and shit u not that wee hing could beat u at Fifa 06:06 PM - 30 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 53. L1⃣4〽️ @Liamwilson999 Still no slept 07:15 PM - 04 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 54. ryan @beak97 See how Scottish people wear tops that say 'New York' or 'LA' do people from America wear tops saying 'Arbroath' or 'East Kilbride' 07:59 PM - 03 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite For more Best of 2016 content, click here!