33 Problems That Will Make Everyone Who's Terrible At Sleeping Say “Fuck, That’s So True”
Trying to squeeze eight hours of sleep into four.
1. Feeling at your sleepiest in the morning, when it's time to get out of bed.
2. Hitting the snooze button at least three times before finally deciding to get up.
3. But still spending another 5-10 minutes sat upright, contemplating the day ahead of you.
4. And on your sleepiest of days, wondering if you could get away with phoning into work sick.
5. Trying to cover up the the dark circles under your eyes with a shit ton of concealer.
6. Spending your waking moments at work fantasising about taking a small nap.
7. And genuinely considering sneaking away from your desk to take one in the toilets.
8. Drinking coffee throughout the day to try and stay alert, even though you know it's just going to contribute to your sleeping problems later on.
9. Having friends and family give you the most basic advice, like "have you tried going to bed earlier?" for the hundredth time.
10. Feeling an equal amount of jealousy and awe towards people who manage to get more than six hours sleep a night.
11. Trying and failing to remember the last time you actually had a good night's sleep.
12. Making the rookie mistake of taking a quick nap after you've come home from work, even though you know you're going to end up paying for it later.
13. Despite feeling sleepy af during the day, feeling wide-awake as soon as night hits.
14. Being driven to the edge of madness by a minor inconvenience, like a corner of your sheet coming loose.
15. Gaining super-hearing abilities, allowing you to hear any faint sound in the distance that might help keep you awake.
16. Using your phone in bed, even though you know that's just going to make sleep even more elusive.
17. Finding yourself Googling the weirdest stuff.
18. Or worse, finding yourself down a YouTube rabbit hole.
19. And watching the most random videos to relax you and hopefully help you fall asleep.
20. Trying to give up keeping your phone near your bedside, but lasting approximately eight minutes without it.
21. Spending time dwelling upon the times you used to be able to sleep easier, and how you wish you'd taken full advantage of it.
22. Your mind being at its most creative past midnight.
23. Making yourself a snack in the middle of the night, mostly out of boredom more than anything else.
24. Your brain deciding that 2am on a weeknight is the perfect time to remember that embarrassing thing you did when you were a 13-year-old.
25. Or your brain creating an entirely new fear to keep you awake.
26. Feeling like time is somehow going faster at night than it does during the day.
27. And completely loosing track of time, only to look at your phone and realise it's almost 3am.
28. Constantly checking your clock and calculating how much sleep you can still reasonably get.
29. And trying to defy time by squeeze eight hours of sleep into four hours.
30. Needing to use the toilet just as you're about to fall asleep.
31. Trying to use the toilet as quickly as possible so that the sleep doesn't ware off.
32. Waking up two hours before your alarm goes off and not being able to get back to sleep.
33. Or waking up and checking to see how much time you have left to sleep, only to discover that your alarm is about to go off in a couple of minutes.