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    19 Secrets B&Q Staff Will Never Tell You

    No, we won't paint your goddamn house for you.

    1. We absolutely hate the orange aprons when we first start working there.

    2. But they weirdly start to grow on you.

    3. Even though customers still regularly ask if you work there.

    4. We're not experts in everything.

    5. We're goddamn shop assistants, not tradesmen/women.

    6. Unsurprisingly, plumbing is especially difficult to give technical advice on.

    7. But when we say we know about something, we know about it.

    8. Seriously, there's nothing worse than a customer who thinks they know everything.

    9. If you can get the product cheaper elsewhere, go elsewhere. Don't act like we're involved in some sort of conspiracy to steal your hard-earned money.

    10. But no, our discount does not extend to friends and family.

    11. We actually learn a hell of a lot working in the store.

    12. But still, knowing where everything is stocked is goddamn impossible.

    13. Parents: Please stop letting your kids treat the place like a toy store.

    14. You're not the first customer to jokingly ask if we'll help paint your house.

    15. Or to reference that Two Ronnies sketch.

    16. The paint-mixing department is the most frustrating department to work in.

    17. Working Sundays and getting paid time and a half is pretty damn sweet.

    18. So is the 20% discount.

    19. Overall, it's not a bad place to work.