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    Please Enjoy These 24 Hilarious And Slightly Bizarre Tweets

    All funny, no filler.

    1.

    when youre hiding some clemson behind ur back and somebody asks to see it

    2.

    My favorite bone is the long one with the bumps on each end. Why mess with a classic

    3.

    Imagine having chills and then imagine those very chills multiplying. That's what life is like for John Travolta

    4.

    Watching Dunkirk the way Christopher Nolan intended

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    stop πŸ—£ killing πŸ—£ scottish πŸ—£ people πŸ—£ to make πŸ—£ scotch πŸ—£ tape πŸ—£

    6.

    This drawing from a Heimlich Manoeuvre how-to contains more complex emotion than nearly every novel

    7.

    nice heights you got there it'd be a shame if someone were to wuther them

    8.

    imagine this: it's 4 am, you call an uber, your Uber's name is "Stuart", you're waiting, it's says your Uber is here but you see nothing, you feel a nudge on your leg, you look down, there's a little red convertible, it's your uber, your uber driver is Stuart Little

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    what if β€˜females’ was pronounced like tamales

    12.

    They say Berlin is known for its legendary street art

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    It's kinda fucked that musicians eat sandwiches by placing them inside trombones and honking them into each other's mouths

    15.

    Just found out I’ve been cheated on so here is a collection of pictures I wasn’t β€œallowed” to post :) enjoy 😚

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    some financial tips: -pay off ur min. credit card payments -create a budget -save a portion of each paycheck -oh none of this working? then it’s heist time baby -get the gang back together -one last job, then u can all retire -u did it!! -but at what cost? rick died in the heist

    18.

    you've heard of jorts are you ready for jairs

    19.

    Herman Melville’s β€œMoby Dick” has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: β€œI hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales”

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    *in hell* satan: dude you gotta stop following me around me: I don't know anyone else here I feel awkward

    22.

    i used a 20 to get my metro card and it gave me mother fucking gold coins like i’m a god dam medieval merchant jingling down the fucking road, i have to buy a fucking leather pouch. i feel like an asshole

    23.

    he was a gator boy she said see u later alligator

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