1.
Dear kid who graffitied some cool Ray Bans and a mustache on me. I'm not even mad.
2.
"What's your name, son?" "Uhhhh..." [looks at cop's shirt pocket]
3.
how many babies did you send to space, bush. you fucker. how many babies are still up there
4.
Don't ask me how I managed to take this because I'm not entirely sure
5.
Who remembers drinking these as kids
6.
4 months ago i quietly left 57 dvds of 'click' at my parents' house and they've still never noticed or mentioned it
7.
MUSEUM VISITOR: That rodent looks stupid RODENT: I'll get you for this!
8.
SCHNEIDER JUST TRIED TO GET HIS PHONE DISGUISED AS HIS MOM LMAO
9.
if anyone is having a rough day I want you to remember I ate half this cup of ice cream before realizing the truth
10.
we heard you got owned online today son
11.
I downloaded this moon phase app and the push notifications it sends are SUPER unsettling
12.
WHAT IS IN THESE
13.
#amazingphotos Sand, magnified over 100 times, looks like this.
14.
Lobster in a bucket or MIGHTY SPACE CRUSTACEAN?
15.
How I significantly improved my Netflix
16.
i enjoying mysekf by the lake, but then i remembered instances of regret in my life, and pain i have caused others
17.
here’s a picture of me scaling a rock face
18.
awkwardly wondered why this guy was staring at me for 10 minutes only to realize it's a frickin poster
19.
i replaced babies in these pictures with hotdogs to show america what really matters
20.
Huge if true
21.
Whenever I'm having a bad day, I read the wikipedia article for the high five.
22.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the guy from Twitter that told me to go fuck myself
23.
COOKING HACK: if you put too much water in your rice, toss a few phones in there
24.
Left hand is steering, the other is gripping your thigh
25.
What a fucking narcissist
26.
"You're a good cat. You don't care what the other cats say. You is kind. You is smart. You is important."
27.
my mom thought she ordered some cheap leggings for herself and this came in the mail LMAO im done with life
28.
my dad's girlfriend takes her dog on a hike every day and HER DOG HAS DOG FRIENDS. LOOK AT THIS SQUAD