1. Role-playing.
WIFE: Let's role-play ME: OK W: U be a teacher *I get up & leave* W: Where u going? M: Do u have ANY idea how much paperwork I've got to do?
2. Revenge.
3. The secret test.
Homework. The teachers' way of knowing how smart the parent is.
4. The face.
5. Those immortal words.
[on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU
6. Hometime.
Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic
7. The perception of a teacher.
8. When parents overreact.
[Parent-Teacher Conference] Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!
9. Questions.
teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong
10. Control.
11. Parents' evening.
A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
12. Thirsty.
13. After hours.
Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.
14. When that one kid finally starts working.
15. Perks of the job.
Just yelled "F, YOU GUYS!" to my students. Another perk of being a music teacher...
16. Student performance.
17. Staff room talk.
18. Where students can put their complaints.
19. Being drunk.
STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.