back to top

Golf Shouldn't Be An Olympic Sport And I'm Kinda Weirded-Out That It Is

It's a game your dad plays on weekends just to get out of the house.

Posted on

If you've been watching the Olympics you've probably been dazzled by the spectacle, wowed by the athletic skills on display, and maybe even wept tears of joy seeing athletes achieve their dream.

Chris Mcgrath / Getty Images

Unless you've only been watching the golf.

Jim Watson / AFP / Getty Images

Yes. If you didn't already know, golf is an actual event in this year's Olympics. And it's just fundamentally WEIRD.

This is the first time golf has been in the Olympics since 1904. 190-fucking-4. We didn't even have plastic back then; we were a different people.
Jeff J Mitchell / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

This is the first time golf has been in the Olympics since 1904. 190-fucking-4. We didn't even have plastic back then; we were a different people.

To understand why this feels so strange we need to talk about what the Olympic Games stand for at its very core – and to do so we need to travel back to 776 BC Greece.

The Olympics started when the God-fearing Greeks decided to honour their main-man Zeus by staging a single 190m race to determine the most athletically gifted man.

Zeus liked this I guess, because the games continued, growing in size and range of events, up until until the time the games were suppressed in 393 AD.
Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Zeus liked this I guess, because the games continued, growing in size and range of events, up until until the time the games were suppressed in 393 AD.

Fast-forward to 1894, when Pierre de Coubertin founded the International Olympic Committee (IOC), resurrecting the Olympic Games and with it the spirit of international athletic competition.

Getty Images / BuzzFeed

The emphasis on athleticism was made clear with the new Olympic motto of "Citius, Altius, Fortius," which is Latin for "Faster, Higher, Stronger".

Karl Walter / Getty Images / commons.wikimedia.org / BuzzFeed

"FASTER".

Atsushi Tomura / Getty Images

"HIGHER".

Ross Kinnaird / Getty Images

"STRONGER".

Scott Halleran / Getty Images

So how the fuck did golf make the events list? The Gods did not play golf on the mountain of Olympus.

The Gods did real sporty stuff, like wrestle naked and play the harp.
Kean Collection / Getty Images / BuzzFeed / Via Kean Collection / Getty Images

The Gods did real sporty stuff, like wrestle naked and play the harp.

A game your dad plays just to get out of the house on weekends should not be an Olympic sport.

Flickr: adamwilson / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

A game you can play while wearing a novelty hat should not be an Olympic sport.

Jeff Gross / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

And a game that has a miniature version featuring tiny windmills and kooky dinosaur statues should definitely not be an Olympic sport.

Flickr: roadsidepictures / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

In conclusion:

Buda Mendes / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

THIS IS JUST ~MY~ OPINION.