We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the dumbest thing they've heard from a customer. Here are the results.
"A woman runs through the store, knocks down three lamps in the process, dramatically flings herself on the counter and yells: 'LAMPS!!! WHERE ARE YOUR LAMPS?!!'"
Submitted by loboski
"Not a single customer, but working at an Italian restaurant I have to explain WAY too often that a 10" pizza cut into 8 slices is still less food than a 14" pizza sliced into 8 slices."
Submitted by Seth Traver, Facebook
"When I worked at a bookstore I had a woman come to the customer service counter to say she was looking for a book, but she couldn't remember the title, author, or plot, but the cover of the book was red."
Submitted by Julia Schorr, Facebook
"When I worked at a pizzeria in my hometown, one woman called to complain that the salad she ordered was soggy. She claimed that she took it out of the fridge and the dressing made the lettuce all gross and inedible. I tried to find her order from that day in our system, but I couldn’t. She then explained that she ordered the salad four days prior. She tried to return a salad she ordered four days beforehand. Four. Fucking. Days."
Submitted by sophal2
"A customer ordered Caesar salad with 'no bacon, no croutons, no anchovies, no parmesan, and no dressing' and then complained that they received 'a bowl of lettuce with an egg on it'."
Submitted by Carolyn Hodgen, Facebook
"I’ve worked in wine for almost 10 years, and one lady certainly takes the cake for perhaps just genuine ignorance by trying to convince me that white wine is just red wine that’s been bleached… with actual bleach. I couldn’t convince her otherwise, and I’m sure she’s still out there today telling people not to drink Chardonnay or run the risk of bleach poisoning."
Submitted by pjh45b72184a
"I worked at a boat rental service for the local river. Customers would rent the boats, float down the river, and then drop off the boats at our location downriver. Way too many people asked, 'Does the river go in a circle?'"
Submitted by Jasmine Herrick, Facebook
"I used to manage a furniture store and we once had a 'customer' come in and shoplift from us. The very next day she ask for a job application and proceed to fill out all her personal information for us. We proceeded to call the police."
Submitted by ccdove
"In college I worked at a crappy restaurant and in the mornings we had to make large vats of ranch dressing. I had a table of teenagers who ordered pizza and requested a great deal of ranch. I delivered, and engaged in light waitress conversation. I told them that I didn’t care for ranch because once you make it in bulk, it loses its appeal. One of the teenage girls looks me dead in the eye and says, 'Where’s bulk? Is that a place?'."
Submitted by emilyodomc
"Working in a bookstore, a woman wanted a book for her daughter. 'She's studying World War Two and needs to read a book about the Holocaust. Do you have any that are happy?'. I had to tell her no."
Submitted by Leah Griffiths, Facebook
"'Do you work here?' Nah fam, I just have a walkie on my hip, a mic/earpiece, and a Planet Fitness staff shirt with a Planet Fitness name tag. Nah, I don’t work here. Not at all. Nope."
Submitted by Submitted by ranzaldua
"I used to work in Harrods and someone once asked me if the colour changing lights in the beauty hall were an ‘original feature’. It’d been a long day and it had been less than an hour since another customer had asked me if Princess Diana was actually buried on the premises, so I just replied ‘yes, I believe fibre-optic lighting was all the rage in 1834’."
Submitted by katielb8925
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.