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    A Sort-Of Ranking Of Survivor Winners From Worst To Best

    Because this is the type of stuff that might still get stolen anyway...just like my post on Christian colleges, but Candace doesn't work here anymore DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions. Please write all hate comments below. And yes, I know several of these contestants played multiple seasons, I'm only listing the seasons that they've won. Additional disclaimer: I am planning on adding gifs of Nick from David vs. Goliath as well as Wendell from Ghost Island, and there will be edits in this post, so as some tribals, this post may continue to still be live.

    Brian Heidik, Survivor: Thailand

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    He's a used car salesman. The only way he won was that he brought someone that the ~VERY~ bitter jury hated more.

    Tom Westman, Survivor: Palau

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    Ugh...Tom is the worst. On this season, whose logo is the thumbnail, btw Tom's tribe annihilated the other tribe. Over. And. OVER. And, then came the jury phase.

    Tom's utter garbage.

    Tony Vlachos, Survivor: Cagayan, Brains v Brawn v Beauty I

    Via giphy.com

    Tony was downright despicable. He was abrasive. He bounced between alliances like a pinball. He benefited from a final two which absolutely never
    happens anymore and needs to come back
    . He was able to capitalize on people's weaknesses, and while that isn't a bad winner, his other attributes (abrasiveness and overall rough personality) gives me some gross vibes. He didn't truly learn from this as he was an early boot when asked back for Game Changers.

    Ethan Zohn, Survivor: Africa

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    I've seen all of his season, but I forget that he won. I mean, when I watch Africa, it's so hard to not notice him. All the younger women ~talk~ about him. However, I just keep forgetting that he won.

    Bob Crowley,Survivor: Gabon

    Via businessinsider.com

    I can't place Bob any higher than here. He played a game where he was the last member of his alliance...and his former alliance members were on the jury. And they were also pretty ilked about that...

    Fabio (Jud Birza) Survivor: Nicaragua

    Via images.yuku.com

    This gif accurately displays his gameplay. Totally. Unaware. His gameplay to me was very similar to Bob's. Which by that, I mean was reactionary.

    Ben Driebergen, Heroes v Healers v Hustlers/Mike Holloway, Worlds Apart

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    I love the fact that Ben was open about his PTSD, but did he really have to be so ~extra~? He found three idols, and played them well...but there's so many similarities between him and Mike, I honestly was bored this season.

    All I know is that Chrissy was robbed, and she needs to be brought back for an all-star season ASAP.

    Mike and Ben played a very similar game. The only difference: Ben didn't blow his game up to pull a comeback to win the game. Mike was in a powerful position, and then comes the auction. Granted, it made for great television but it served no real purpose besides Mike needing to win or use advantages.

    Wendell Holland, Ghost Island (tie with Yul Kwon and Kim Spradlin)

    I'm beginning a little rant here. Yes, Survivor is best played when there are small, great moves. HOWEVER, it's not the best television. Unlike Yul, where the jury had no real choice but to vote Yul, the jury was split and MADE LAUREL THE FINAL JUROR AND FORCED A FINAL TWO. Unlike Kim, Wendell could have lost control at any point of the game, if only Laurel had seen the writing on the wall...Donathan did.

    Yul Kwon, Survivor: Cook Islands (tie with Kim Spradlin)

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    Yul was a gamer. I can remember exactly which episode I knew that Yul would win...that's how I know he had it in the bag. BTW, it's when he made the deal with Penner.

    Kim Spradlin, Survivor: One World (tie with Yul Kwon)

    Via images.yuku.com

    Like Yul, I knew exactly when Kim had the win in the bag, and that was after she put every single man that opposed her on the jury. Yes, there were some members of her alliance that were ~unfortunate~ casualties that went out before certain individuals. However, she had an icy control on who was sent packing.

    Tina Wesson, Survivor: The Australian Outback

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    TBH, I haven't really watched Australian Outback, but it takes a great amount of skill, especially now in newer seasons for older women to advance further in the game. Tina did play twice after her initial season, on All Stars and Blood vs. Water which she was outgamed, but she is a fan favorite and I'd love to see her play again...if she chooses to. Let it be known through this sassy strikethrough that I have every intention of watching this season and may move her up some because of this offense.

    Vecepia Towery, Survivor: Marquesas

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    She played the game great, and decided she was one and done. She dealt with all the haters with ~grace and elegance~. This is my face because of this ~fact~.

    Richard Hatch, Survivor: Borneo

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    The Godfather himself, the creator of strategy and the way the game should be played. There are some times when I've watched Borneo and I think to my self I'd vote out Richard, why aren't they, "Oh my goodness Richard is playing such a good game... and he laid out exactly how to play the game. JUST REMEMBER: pay the taxes on your winnings..

    Jenna Morasca, Survivor: Amazon

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    She's truly a fascinating woman, who is just the best. She kept it real on the Amazon, ~flashed~ the cameras for peanut butter, and threw the most EXCELLENT ~shade~ during the Final Tribal Council. At the time of original airing, she is also one of the youngest winners ever to play the game.

    Aras Baskauskas, Survivor: Exile Island

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    He played the cleanest game of all the winners. He had no real blood on his hands because members of his alliance did more and then he voted them out...real #SAVAGE right here. BTW, if Cirie had won the firemaking challenge we'd be talking about how she is the best winner ever...still.

    Danni Boatwright, Survivor: Guatemala

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    Yeah, so there was a season where they shot in Guatemala. That they brought back Stephanie and Bobby Jon from Palau, and this rando not really won.

    James "J.T." Thomas, Jr., Survivor: Tocantins

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    If charm can win you a million dollars, this is how to do it.

    Amber Mariano (nee Brkich), Survivor: All-Stars

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    She was heartless, only the jury didn't see her game...I got to respect that. It takes skill to do that when one is with the ~same people~ for over two months.

    "Boston Rob" Mariano, Survivor: Redemption Island

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    He took second in All-Stars. He came close to the jury phase on Heroes v. Villains I know it's the title I'm using and he didn't win HvV, it's better than the previously published file, and made an adversary out of Russell. Some how CBS producers thought, let's pitt them up against each other again.

    While the idea was great, watching him march to the prize was not great TV.

    Earl Cole, Survivor: Fiji

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    Earl benefited from having one of the most vitriolic people ever sitting next to him yes, that's shade on Dreamz, and also from having one of the most bitter juries ever known. I mean, c'mon with the "How may zeroes are in a million?"

    Michele Fitzgerald, Survivor: Kaôh Rōng (Brains v Brawn v Beauty II)

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    I'm still not over her eliminating Neal because she knew he'd vote for Aubry. While Aubry had her outgamed on the game front, She had Aubry on the back door social game.

    Nick Wilson, David vs. Goliath

    Here's what makes Nick better than JT, and why I place him here: he juggled multiple alliances and was able to make sure that he was on the right side of the vote or that he wouldn't suffer fallout from being on the wrong side of the vote. That and Timbira just imploded when the merge came on Tocantins.

    Denise Stapely, Survivor: Philippines

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    The real only thing that I remember about Denise is that she's a sex therapist. And that her original tribe was absolutely terrible. JUST KIDDING! She was totally collected, even when everything had gone to pieces around her.

    She's a decent winner, given that the other two (Lisa Welchel and Michael Skupin) totally fell apart at Final Tribal Council, where it really mattered.

    Chris Daugherty, Survivor: Vanuatu

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    On his season, he was a mastermind. He was able to play everyone off each other to the point where it didn't look like he had any blood on his hands, but after the Rory vote, he did what he needed to do, one of which was voting out Sarge...ugh, Sarge.

    Adam Klein, Survivor: Millenials v Gen X

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    TBH, I didn't even watch this season. My only excuse is that I'm in the Army Reserve and I was in Basic Training and AIT during this season. I only know of Zeke and Michaela, and if he was able to outlast both of them let alone vote Zeke out, he's a decent player. I am currently watching this season because it is not fair to Adam OR Tina that I haven't seen their respective seasons. I haven't decided what to do just yet. So far, I love how his control is understated.

    Natalie White, Survivor: Samoa

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    She benefited from Russell taking all the heat. While he was being a Grade-A jerk, she was making connections and building them bonds.

    And, btw if they hadn't merged when they did we more than likely would have lost this gem...go ahead, rewatch Samoa. Russell was a pig.

    Sophie Clarke, Survivor: South Pacific

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    While she had control on jury placement much like Kim, she had to deal with Coach, and other very loud personalities during this particular season.

    Tyson Apostol, Survivor: Blood v. Water I

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    So, this particular version of Blood v. Water had the Redemption Island twist, which is one of the worst twists that Survivor placed on the American version.

    Tyson made the necessary adjustments from Tocantins and Heroes v. Villains and took that education all the way to the bank. Only a mastermind could know how exactly how a jury would vote in this season. And the fact that it was just so ~personal~ made everything just so over the top.

    Todd Herzog, Survivor: China

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    He kept people closer to him when he sent them home or the jury, but stumbled in articulating exactly ~how~ he did it...he won BY ONE VOTE.

    And if he were to every play again should he want he'd be the most dangerous player in the game.

    PARVATI, Survivor: Micronesia, Fans v. Favorites I

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    She's savvy. She was able to juggle three alliances at once, and sat pretty at the Final Tribal Council. She almost did it again, but alas if it weren't for one Mrs. Sandra Diaz-Twine.

    John Cochran, Survivor: Caramoan, Fans v. Favorites II

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    Cochran fine tuned his game and became some kind of shaman here. I mean, he really played it cool. His jury management was on par to the likes of Parvati Shallow and Earl Cole. His final two were the perfect two, just like Sophie and Heroes v. Villains Sandra.

    Natalie Anderson, Survivor: San Juan Del Sur Blood v Water II

    YES! I am a fan of Natalie and Nadiya from The Amazing Race, as they are downright hilarious. However, Survivor is a different game entirely. Natalie proved she's the slicker twin as she was able to make do without Nadiya for 36 days. For fans of The Amazing Race, this is a total feat. By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed the Exile Island twist on this season.

    Sarah Lacina, Game Changers

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    Sarah LEARNED from her first season and from Tony. She played ruthlessly but effectively as she had enough trust from the jury to give her the win. That and everyone hated Brad Culpepper and Troyzan... so she was SUPER effective with the social game.

    One could say she wasn't wanted at the final tribal, but she played in a way where Brad believed he could beat her.

    Jeremy Collins, Survivor: Cambodia Second Chance

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    While Jeremy played for his family much like Mike and Ben what separates him from other male winners similar to him is that he wasn't reactionary, he saw what was coming up and made the necessary plans just in case things went south. Which in this season, happened more than three times.

    QUEEN SANDRA, Pearl Islands AND Heroes v. Villains

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    There are several things that give me LYFE about Sandra. She's blunt, honest and very intentional. However, she's not going to be upfront about it, one has to approach her first. This is all why she's so dangerous and why she was voted out pre-jury during Game Changers. She can tell you what you want to hear, but is secretly plotting your downfall. She's my icon, tbh. And, she's still the only TWO-TIME winner of the show.