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9 Of The Best Drunk Restaurants In Toronto

Admit it. You've been to at least one of these places and drunk cried after posting a photo of the fattiest menu item on Instagram. #IRegretNothing

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1. Swatow Restaurant, 309 Spadina Avenue

Via Flickr: hwan

Admit it. You’ve walked the length of Spadina looking for the right food to eat. Well, now you can just tell the Uber driver the address of Swatow. You may not be in the mood for sitting upright under the bright lights but the food will be out faster than your puke normally hits the toilet. If the fact that Swatow is open until 2am doesn’t lift your spirits, then loudly ordering a plate of Fuk-kin rice sure will.

2. Poutini's House of Poutine, 1112 Queen Street W.

Via Flickr: parkdalepigeon

Somehow they have managed to dethrone Smoke’s Poutinery as the best poutine in the city and I’m thinking it’s because Poutini’s pride themselves on staying open until 3:30am. This is where you go when you want to keep your options open, experiment with something new while sticking with the reliable combination of starch, grease, and salt known to prevent hangovers.

3. Street meat, multiple locations

Via Flickr: jp1958

Street meat divides opinion. Some say it’s the lowest of the low while others argue that it’s a well-rounded meal – with vegetables and everything! Street corner sausages are an institution. If there is one thing you can count on it’s that there's a street meat man around the corner. Come hell or freezing cold weather, he will be there for you, serving the most satisfying hot meal you could get for $3.00 in the wee hours of the morning.

4. Hero Certified Burger, 441 Queen Street W.

Via Flickr: ericrobinson

My brother was on to something when he said “You can never go wrong with a classic double from Wendy’s” for that 2am drunk food. But what about for those who remain burger snobs even while intoxicated? Well, this one’s for you. Hero Burger is open 24 hours, they have real steak, a fancy selection of cheeses, and a variety of toppings that you’re sure to spill on your dress. If that’s too much for you, there’s always the McDonald’s across the street.

5. Fran’s, multiple locations

Via Flickr: donald_gunn

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and if you’ve lasted long enough to be served it, you’ve earned a damn good one. Nothing says ‘I’m drunk’ like ending your night with a Morning Glory – waffles, eggs, bacon, caramelized apples, and a heavy handed helping of maple syrup.

6. Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College Street


If you take away just one thing from this article, make it this: the answer to every question asked while drunk is Sneaky Dee’s. They stay open until 4:30 in the morning to serve a bear-sized portion of nacho chips covered in an unholy amount of melted cheese. Be not ashamed, these nachos have been scientifically proven to cure hangovers (Editor’s note: not actually).

7. Pizzaiolo, multiple locations

Via Flickr: pinkmoose

There ain’t no party like a Pizzaiolo party. I actually have friends for whom Pizzaiolo is their go-to after-hours party stop. You can laugh, but you’re just jealous – Pizzaiolo is gourmet pizza and attracts a more intellectual crowd than the basic bastards at Pizza Pizza. So what if pizza is the cliché drunk food? It all looks the same coming back up, amirite?!

8. The Lakeview Restaurant, 1132 Dundas Street W.

Via Flickr: jennyrotten

The Lakeview is one of those rare 24-hour places that’s as good at 2pm as it is at 2am. The best thing about the Lakeview is that they’ve got pulled pork poutines, disgusti-licious burgers, and all-day brunch, so everyone gets what they want. And no one even expects you to act civilized.

9. Tim Hortons, multiple locations

Via Flickr: aishe

You didn’t think I would write a drunk food article about Toronto and not include Timmies, did you?! Look at that display case and the way the donuts glow. Drunkenness and Timbits go together like… whatever combination got you drunk enough to end up at Tim Horton’s at 2am. You know you've been that person banging on the locked door of Tim’s at Bloor & Bedford at 2:05, begging for a hot chocolate, toasted plain bagel with herb and garlic cream cheese, and a sour cream glazed donut.

Just me? Whatever, #IRegretNothing.

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