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  • Internet Warning Screens - From The Twee To The Testicle Shrinking

    Think of the internet like a library. A vast, disorganized, filthy library frequented by mentally defective people and mainly consisting of unlikely things looking like Hitler and many, many ‘How to Twerk’ videos. Rather than librarians or security guards, this facility has large scary people who hide behind the bookcases waiting for you to do something wrong. And when you do, they leap at you brandishing a sock filled with soap and screaming ‘YOU ARE THE DEVIL’ in your face. These are internet warning screens. Those sudden, unexpected pages that fill our monitors with vague, threatening language and our very souls with untold dread. They have the same derailing effect as a broken Blu-Ray that freezes on Nicolas Cage during a furious gurn or a note slipped under your door with ‘I STAB YOU IN DICKHOLE’ scrawled on the front in crayon. What follows are some of the worst offenders, rated by their excreta-generating capabilities.

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