People Shared What Would Be The First Thing They Would Change If They Became God, And I Have Not Stopped Laughing

I think my first line of action would be to make Chipotle's guacamole free.

If you had the opportunity to play God, what would be your first executive decision? I think mine would be for guacamole to be free, but honestly, that's just me.

NBC

Well when the question, "God is retiring, and asks you to permanently replace him. What is the first thing you do as the new God?" was posed on Reddit, I figured y'all would give me a mighty laugh. Here were some of the funniest responses:

Disney

1. "Start smiting."

—TrogdortheBanninator

2. "I'm gonna finally fix that thing where you can bite the inside of your own mouth by accident."

—slaaitch

3. "Make the sloth the fastest land animal in the world. Oh, and give all pigeons the power of speech in a New York accent."

—Danpcell

Universal Pictures

4. "Call in sick. Who's gonna fire me?"

—Vinnystill

5. "Branch a universe and see how I do."

—gmacWV

6. "I'm really sorry everybody, but I'll probably be smashing things into Earth at ludicrous speeds. You've played Universe Sandbox, you know it's addictive."

—noob_almost

NBC

7. "Human rational thinking, I'd upgrade it. Stand back a few days and adjust more if needed."

—nowhereman136

8. "Update the system and then all of my dailies into macro templates and work three hours a day like any other job."

—halfcourtthrowaway

9. "No more mosquitoes."

—CallMeTDD

FOX

10. "Congratulations, penguins. You can fly now."

—cousin_geri

11. "Recruit some help."

—HoneyPiSquared

12. "Create one universal blood type. No more of this multiple blood type non-compatibility bullshit."

—slothbarns7

FOX

13. "I’m gonna go rogue and give my followers some evidence I exist."

—TannedCroissant

14. "Everybody is getting their own theme song."

—manhousechatter

15. "Rewatch Bruce Almighty for ideas."

—LilG1984

Universal Pictures

16. "Make media appearances, give interviews, book signings, etc. No more of this ridiculous divine hiddenness that causes so much strife."

—charonn0

17. "Set up an automatic detection and punishment system for people who change lanes without using their turn signal."

—Caoranach

18. "Make it rain five-pound cheesecakes."

—Omnidexicon

19. "11th commandment: Thou shalt not follow social media influencers."

—jayheadspace

Netflix

What would you do if you became God for a day?