12 Things Every Woman Can Bring Up To A Man And He'll Say, "What? Why Are You Thinking About That?"
Yes, sneezing while on your period is a dangerous game.
I think we can all collectively say that men and women are vastly different, especially in what we think and do. And even though I have no scientific proof of this statement, just take my word for it.
1. The awkward hug to avoid makeup accidents:
"Hugging someone and making sure my face is up and away from them so I don't get makeup transference on their clothing. Same for deodorant if I'm wearing a short-sleeved top."
2. The text all girls personally know:
"The whole 'Text me when you get home' thing we do with our girlfriends. None of my guy friends ever ask their guy friends to do that. That and sending screenshots of the Uber/Lyft driver to your friends when you get in the car. My girlfriends send me screen shots or contact info of their date when it’s a newer person."
3. The study of dress protocol for every event:
"Dressing appropriately for an event. My boyfriend gets invited to a lot of social gatherings with well-known people in our community (fundraisers, galas, cocktail parties), and he never asks what the expected dress attire is. When I go to these things the men are usually sporting jeans and a suit jacket because they don’t have as many options to think about. But I have to consider an array of options and all the levels (casual, business casual, formal-like homecoming, or ball gown formal? Cocktail dress?). It feels like totally different expectations for women at the events."
4. The balance of joy and resting bitch face:
"How to seem aloof enough to not attract unwanted attention, but not too angry-looking to attract a bad person looking for a reason to harass a woman."
5. The deadly sneeze:
"Men have never had to panic when they sneeze while on their period."
6. The challenge of shaving:
"Debating the necessity of shaving my legs for specific events."
7. The pill planning:
"Planning my periods/birth control around important events and vacation, making sure I never leave the house without at least one menstrual pad and one-two doses of painkiller in my bag, trying not to forget to shave my arms/legs etc. if I hadn't worn shorts/short sleeves in a while."
8. The expectations around children:
"I hate that I am automatically expected to know how to deal with babies/children. The number of times I've been handed babies by coworkers/casual acquaintances/distant relatives and just expected to know how to hold them or what to do when they cry."
9. The sex risks and necessary prep:
"Peeing right after sex so you don’t get a UTI. Bringing a change of underwear if you’re going to sleep over at someone’s house because you literally need to change your underwear after sexy time."
10. The office politics:
"Men don't think about delicate expression of concerns/ideas in the workplace to fit the office 'politics' and avoid being labeled as a bitch/bossy busybody and alienated."
11. The pregnancy worry for EVERYTHING:
"Ha, men don't have to worry about being pregnant even when you didn’t have sex that month."
12. And of course, the fear of the unknown DM:
"I doubt men ever have to think about feeling a little bit of dread when they have a DM from a stranger. A lot of women do because we know opening it is basically disappointing penis roulette."