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Literally Just 16 Funny Overheard Things From Twitter This Week

"How many calories are in Advil?"

1.

Overheard in the office: "How many calories are in Advil?"

2.

overheard at neighborhood diner in very excited voice: “here’s the other interesting thing about bees..”

3.

Overheard in the airport from a couple 75+ year old women: 1: “it’s early, let’s get a drink.” 2: “Ooo you’re right, I need tequila.” 1: “No Beth I mean coffee”

4.

In the library studying overheard a girl say "Maybe if I refresh my grades page, the mark will increase" 💀

5.

Overheard my two kids today plotting how to chat with each other over a shared #GoogleDoc while in separate classes at school. “What time do you normally use computers in your class?” #SoSneaky #DigCit #ImNotTelling

6.

overheard in target . . . “you don’t come to target with a list of what you need. you come to target and leave with what target tells you you need”

7.

Visiting a friend in hospital and I just overheard a doctor say ‘excellent, everyone is alive’, which I guess is probably ultimate doctor goals.

8.

Overheard in my living room: "I! WISH! BEDTIME WASN'T REAL!!!"

9.

Overheard in the Lit Hub office: "If you're going to wear jeans to the National Book Awards, you better be Joy Williams."

10.

overheard in the newsroom: "the last few days have been a haze of election results, DayQuil and bourbon"

11.

Overheard at the phoenix airport "omg, cactuses are real!"

12.

I was at the vet today and I overheard the receptionist say, “Yes ma’am, I have riff raff down for 1:00 tomorrow”

13.

Overheard getting coffee: "Hahaha, what funeral was that at? Your mum's or dad's?"

14.

Overheard at Walmart: Old lady - “I’m checking out” Old man following behind her in a scooter - “I checked out years ago”

15.

Overheard @Target: “You buyin’ anything?” “Not on purpose.”

16.

“we can be petty all damn day. monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday ...” — overheard in d.c.

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