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    20 "Overheard" Tweets From Twitter That Will Actually Make You Laugh And Then Roll Your Eyes

    "I managed to keep it keto."


    Kids were sitting down around the dinner table. Overheard my 6 y/o tell his 8 y/o cousin, “I am going to grow a beard so long- past my balls.” 😱🤣


    Just overheard my daughter say to her baby doll: ‘Baby, I’m just having a gin, we’ve had a nice day so don’t spoil it by crying’. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!


    Overheard on the elevator: “Did you have a good thanksgiving!?” “Yeah I managed to keep it keto!”


    Some 20-something year old boy I overheard on the subway: what do you think about gluten? Like, you think that shit’s real, bruh?


    #overheard in math class Girl 1: you BIT a girl! Girl 2: Okay I UNDERSTAND that, but you don't get it, she bit me FIRST ... I am in high school.


    I forgot I overheard this girl saying she’s not sure if she should pay her rent or go Black Friday shopping 🤔💀


    As I was bartending this morning I overheard a guy at the bar telling his friend “if you’re still on the market then whatever you’re selling must not be that special” and triggered my single ass


    Just overheard a millennial boast “There are a lot of people my age who don’t know what the hell a Walkman is.” Kill me now. #Overheard #fml #Old #humblebrag


    Overheard in my house tonight: “Mommy, Daddy, can you call the dog? He’s staring at me while I’m on the toilet!”


    #overheard train conversations are the best. "The only time he did heroin he got arrested so it doesn't really count for him"


    Overheard a kid in target to his mom “It’s not $40 it’s 39.99”


    Omg I just overheard my 4 year old boy say : “Why do people tweet about their children saying very bizarre things and not pay attention to them at all, I honestly think it’s despicable.” What has this world came to! #Overheard


    #Overheard on the Tube. "Mate you're an idiot - you never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single longer than 6 months."


    “Oxford comma....... hell yeah I use that shit, I’m way too sophiscated not too!” #Overheard


    Overheard in the newsroom: "you actually don't want to come across as pro-otter"


    “I like cats because they’re soft and fluffy, but like, they destroy shit” “Do you have to walk them?” “No, you don’t walk them. They just jump for, like, exercise” - an actual #overheard conversation between two adults.


    Overheard this convo at Trader Joe’s and have never been happier to be unmarried. Wife: Salad? Husband: Let’s do it!


    #overheard at uni: “Turns out, we’ve been fed a lot of lies about dinosaurs!”


    #Overheard two guys approx. in their mid-thirties guy: "I just got these doc martens." other guy: "Huh?" guy: "Oh, they were popular with the punk rock crowd back in the day." other guy: "Oh yeah, you like that alternative stuff right?"


    #overheard in West Virginia: You are so high you could sit on Wednesday and see both Sundays.