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20 "Overheard" Tweets From Twitter That Will Actually Make You Laugh And Then Roll Your Eyes

"I managed to keep it keto."

1.

Kids were sitting down around the dinner table. Overheard my 6 y/o tell his 8 y/o cousin, “I am going to grow a beard so long- past my balls.” 😱🤣

2.

Just overheard my daughter say to her baby doll: ‘Baby, I’m just having a gin, we’ve had a nice day so don’t spoil it by crying’. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

3.

Overheard on the elevator: “Did you have a good thanksgiving!?” “Yeah I managed to keep it keto!”

4.

Some 20-something year old boy I overheard on the subway: what do you think about gluten? Like, you think that shit’s real, bruh?

5.

#overheard in math class Girl 1: you BIT a girl! Girl 2: Okay I UNDERSTAND that, but you don't get it, she bit me FIRST ... I am in high school.

6.

I forgot I overheard this girl saying she’s not sure if she should pay her rent or go Black Friday shopping 🤔💀

7.

As I was bartending this morning I overheard a guy at the bar telling his friend “if you’re still on the market then whatever you’re selling must not be that special” and tbh.....it triggered my single ass https://t.co/lbrB6RZadA

8.

Just overheard a millennial boast “There are a lot of people my age who don’t know what the hell a Walkman is.” Kill me now. #Overheard #fml #Old #humblebrag

9.

Overheard in my house tonight: “Mommy, Daddy, can you call the dog? He’s staring at me while I’m on the toilet!”

10.

#overheard train conversations are the best. "The only time he did heroin he got arrested so it doesn't really count for him"

11.

Overheard a kid in target to his mom “It’s not $40 it’s 39.99”

12.

Omg I just overheard my 4 year old boy say : “Why do people tweet about their children saying very bizarre things and not pay attention to them at all, I honestly think it’s despicable.” What has this world came to! #Overheard

13.

#Overheard on the Tube. "Mate you're an idiot - you never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single longer than 6 months."

14.

“Oxford comma....... hell yeah I use that shit, I’m way too sophiscated not too!” #Overheard

15.

Overheard in the newsroom: "you actually don't want to come across as pro-otter"

16.

“I like cats because they’re soft and fluffy, but like, they destroy shit” “Do you have to walk them?” “No, you don’t walk them. They just jump for, like, exercise” - an actual #overheard conversation between two adults.

17.

Overheard this convo at Trader Joe’s and have never been happier to be unmarried. Wife: Salad? Husband: Let’s do it!

18.

#overheard at uni: “Turns out, we’ve been fed a lot of lies about dinosaurs!”

19.

#Overheard two guys approx. in their mid-thirties guy: "I just got these doc martens." other guy: "Huh?" guy: "Oh, they were popular with the punk rock crowd back in the day." other guy: "Oh yeah, you like that alternative stuff right?"

20.

#overheard in West Virginia: You are so high you could sit on Wednesday and see both Sundays.

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