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21 Things You Learn When You Move To Thailand

Things you will learn if you move to Thailand or spend any considerable amount of time in the Land of Smiles.

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1. How to cut meat with a spoon.

A spoon and a fork are the only utensils you will get it Thailand (and the occasional chopsticks) and they are all you need. You can use them to eat chicken, steak, fish, and anything else imaginable.

2. Geckos move way too fast.

The tiny critters are everywhere and are completely harmless, but they have a way of scaring the shit out of you when they dart away with supernatural speed every time you turn on a light.

3. You’ve never wanted a new suit or a massage less in your life.

Months after leaving Bangkok, you'll still have nightmares of people on the street shouting "Suit! Want to buy a suit?!?" "Massage! Massage! Thai massage!" You also don't want to buy that wooden frog that makes a noise.

7. Time is subject to interpretation, and that's a good thing.

If a train is due at 3:00 it will arrive at 5:00. If a meeting is planned for noon, it will start at 1:30. This means everything is relaxed, carefree, and easy going.

8. You really, really love bread and cheese.

If you live in the countryside bread and cheese is hard to find, and it is rare in the cities unless you want to overpay at a farang restaurant. But man, is it delicious. Never has the ancient cheese/oral sex philosophical query been easier to answer.

16. Everything goes better with cucumbers.

Almost every dish in Thailand is served with a side of cucumbers and cabbage/green beans. It turns out, cucumbers are the perfect vegetable to mellow out spicy flavors.

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