And the Kenan & Kel reboot we didn't know we needed.
But there is one explosive sketch that I simply cannot stop thinking about.
The sketch starts out at the Times Square Sanrio store (the company that owns Hello Kitty), where a group of new hires are getting trained to work the sales floor.
In order to work there, they need to know the history of the Hello Kitty character. Well... BUCKLE. UP. Because these Hello Kitty facts in the sketch are actually all true, straight from Sanrio.
THE FACE OF A HUMAN?!?!?!?!
They go on to list that she was born in 1974, lives in London, and is "five apples tall." They also reveal that she's in the third grade, and if you can do math...
THE FACE OF A 48-YEAR-OLD THIRD-GRADER?!?!?!
OK, you might be saying to yourself, it can't get crazier than that. WELL THINK AGAIN, SISTER.
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?! What are the rules of this world?
THE FACE OF A 48-YEAR-OLD HUMAN THIRD-GRADER WITH A CAT FOR A BOYFRIEND?!?!
In case you forgot (like I did), this story actually first broke back in 2014 when anthropologist Christine R. Yano was curating a Hello Kitty exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles.
"I was corrected — very firmly," she told the Los Angeles Times. "That's one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty."
STOP. IT. RIGHT. NOW. So let's go over this.
Well, Hello Kitty is also apparently Natasha Lyonne. BECAUSE WHY NOT?!
You can watch the full sketch here. And be careful out there. Nothing is as it seems.
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