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Posted on Sep 4, 2014

How Personally Victimized Have You Been By Kate Aurthur?

"If it weren't for Simply Rain, I would just evaporate into the sky from annoyance."

Jaimie Etkin

by Jaimie Etkin

BuzzFeed News Reporter

She refused to bring you back a waffle from the coffee place down the street.

She has Simply Rained you.

She has Simply Rained you without telling you that's what she was doing to you.

She has told you you are allowed to have your opinion but that that opinion is wrong.

She has prevented you from eating lunch.

She has tweeted something you said in an presumed effort to shame you.

She has tweet-shamed you until you left the office.

She has lamented the frequency of your gay gasping.

She has suggested you be let go from your job because of your OOO.

She has accused you of carrying the plague.

She has kicked you out of her birthday party because she assumes you're carrying the plague.

She has run across the room from you out of fear that you will vomit on or around her.

Your name is Aviva Drescher.

Your name is Nikki Finke.

She has secluded herself in Shadow to avoid listening to you.

She has ended an argument with you by saying, "Bye!"

She has subtweeted your laughter.

She has @ tweeted you about your laughter.

She has blocked you on Twitter.

You live in fear of her reaction to this post.

But you know you're a more honest person (and journalist, if applicable) for knowing her.

Show me my results!

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WE LOVE YOU, KATE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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