27 Things Jews Are Tired Of Hearing On Passover

Can’t we all just agree that matzoh is actually not good?

1. “Happy Passover! Wait. Do you say ‘Happy Passover’?”

Nickelodeon / Via nickelodeon.tumblr.com

Yes, yes you can.

2. “What’s Passover about again?”

Columbia Pictures / Via jamiepandahugs.tumblr.com

Here’s a Haggadah. Read on.

3. “So, is this the one where you fast?”


4. “Oh, it’s the one where you can’t have bread?”

Reprise Records / Via fuckyeahidinagifs.tumblr.com

Yes, among many other things.

5. “But you can have, like, everything else, right?”

Comedy Central via guh-gifgarden.tumblr.com


More like NOTHING else.

6. “Wait, what can’t you eat again?”

Anything with wheat, oats, rye, barley, rice, corn, beans, lentils, peas, soybeans, peanuts, or sesame seeds (to name a few ingredients) is off the table.

7. “And how long is it for?”

Eight horrible bread (and more)-less days.

8. “Then you get eight days of presents, right? Like Hanukkah.”

Lionsgate / Via ianwanda.tumblr.com

If by present you mean constipation, then yes, yes you do.

9. “Oh, well, that’s not that hard. We have to give up something for Lent for 40 days.”

Fox / Via pandawhale.com


10. “Don’t you drink a lot of wine, though?”

DreamWorks Pictures / Via gif-central.blogspot.com

Have you ever had Manischewitz? ‘Tis hardly wine.

11. “You’re so lucky. You get to leave work early!”


I would rather be here.

12. “I love matzoh!”

Oh, really? DO YOU?!

13. “Can I have a piece of your matzoh?”

Seriously? This is the only thing I have for lunch!

14. “Oh, it’s the plain kind? The everything one is really good.”

The everything one is also not kosher for Passover.

15. “Can I have a piece of your Bazooka gum?”

Paramount Pictures / Via tigershout.tumblr.com

Again, this is only thing I have getting me through the day.

16. “I haven’t had this in forever!”

Buena Vista Pictures / Via perezhilton.tumblr.com

Because who would choose gum that loses its flavor in a matter of seconds?

17. “Ugh, the comic’s in Hebrew?”

CBS / Via giphy.com

Yep. It’s for Passover.

18. “What does it say?”


God knows. It has no vowels!

19. “You can’t even read Hebrew?”

Not since my Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

20. “You’re leaving work early again?! But Dan’s Jewish and he’s not leaving.”

Paramount Pictures / Via meansnothing4u.tumblr.com

Well, Dan’s actually not that Jewish, seemingly.

21. “Why aren’t you having any of Ali’s birthday cake?”

Because it includes the earlier ingredients I mentioned!

22. “Want to go get pizza?”

Warner Bros. via cinemamonamour.tumblr.com



23. “Wait, you can’t have pizza?!”

United Artists / Via hoppip.tumblr.com

Unless Sbarro’s is now serving matzoh, no, I cannot.

24. “Why aren’t you coming to after-work drinks?”

Do you know what’s in alcohol?

25. “Can I have a piece of your chocolate?”

You’ve already had my matzoh and Bazooka. Why not?

26. “Ew. This tastes weird.”

Lionsgate via masquesous.tumblr.com



27. “What are you doing for Easter?”

Wishing I could eat your chocolate instead of that shit.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

  Your Reaction?

    Starting soon, you'll only be able to post a comment on BuzzFeed using a Facebook account or via our app. If you have questions or thoughts, email us here.


    Hot Buzz

    This Is What The Oscars Looked Like 10 Years Ago


    11 Incredible Photo Stories You Absolutely Can’t Miss

    Now Buzzing