Jurassic World is a fine movie. A fun movie! But when filmmakers are doing so much better (see: Mad Max: Fury Road, Spy), this feels like a distracting step back.
1. Bryce Dallas Howard's Frigid Businesslady is as one-dimensional as characters come.
2. Her character's biggest obstacle is being too frigid for a family.
3. Swarthy Velociraptorman teaches her how to respect dinosaurs, and also, how to love.
4. Even when Frigid Businesslady does something cool, her nephews still prefer Swarthy Velociraptorman.
5. Frigid Businesslady wears heels the entire time. Even when she's running from dinosaurs.
6. Her "character development" is strictly external.
7. She ends up smooching and leaving the island with Swarthy Velociraptorman, for no good reason.
8. Laura Dern was so much more awesome by comparison.
9. The subtext about the destructiveness of male hubris is gone.
10. For a movie ostensibly against the monster of capitalism, there sure is a lot of product placement.
11. Even with the side characters in the IT room, the man is the brave, funny one who's aware of what's going on.
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