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Food

17 Stages Of Ordering Food, As Told By Liz Lemon

Yes, may I please speak to pizza?

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1. You realize you're freakin' starving.

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Is that my stomach or are we by an airport?

2. But what do you actually want?

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Making decisions is the WORST!

3. You can't go to the sandwich place around the corner because they are cash only.

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4. Trying to decide what you're in the mood for, you start making up things that don't exist.

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Is a calamari bahn mi a thing?

5. You're super excited when you finally decide on something.

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6. ...Only to realize you don't meet the minimum order requirement.

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How is the minimum $30 for a $2 taco place?

7. Now you're going overboard and order enough food for dinner, second dinner, lunch, and a snack.

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Three less meals to order tomorrow.

8. But right before you click "Order" you see it'll take AT LEAST 45 MINUTES to get your food.

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But it took me 25 minutes just to get this far!

9. So you go back and just order the quickest, cheapest thing in your delivery area.

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Whatever, at this point a BLT will taste the same as sushi, you're so hungry.

10. You keep violently hitting the refresh button in your email so you can make sure they have received your order.

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11. You're so hangry, you don't even understand what people are saying to you.

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12. You keep staring at the clock trying to force time to go faster.

13. You call one minute past the estimated delivery time to see where your food is.

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"Hello? Yes, I placed an order 16 minutes ago and it's still not here."

14. When they tell you it should be there soon and you know they didn't even check.

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What clock are you looking at? Because mine doesn't have "soon" on it.

15. And then the doorbell finally rings!

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FINALLY!!!!!

16. You run down the stairs and snatch the food out of the delivery guy's hand because he's taking too long to get to you.

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It's a walk-up, not Everest, dude. C'mon!

17. You experience the sweet satisfaction of finally putting food in your mouth.

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Mmmmmmmm...

And all is well.

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